Sunday, May 15, 2011

Let’s try this again

Hi, remember me?

Not sure I have any readers left, but I’ve been starting to feel like writing again. Rather than starting yet another new blog to “help me focus” my project, I just decided to just come back to the place where I’ve written successfully off and on for almost seven years now. I’m going to take a page from Tom’s blog book and just post when I have something to say.

Sometimes it will be about singing, sometimes motherhood, sometimes both, and maybe even sometimes neither. I don’t think I’ll do too much back-tracking, although the past year and half has plenty of material from which to draw. But there is plenty more ahead - not the least of which is our upcoming trip with the Metropolitan Opera tour to Japan!

Yes, we’re all going - Matt, Henry, and I - and yes, of course I’m nervous. We’ve had plenty of reassurances that we will be safe and that there is safe food and water aplenty. We have the blessings of our pediatrician and our families, and I am really starting to get excited. But I recently saw the list of company members on our chartered flight, and there are only a handful of guests coming, and only two babies. I was told that a lot of people bring family on this kind of tour, so I was really surprised - and a little concerned. Did we make the right choice?

Then I had to stop and think again. I am not bringing Henry and Matt to Japan so that we can have a working vacation, even though there are elements of that in this trip. They are coming along because I have a job in Japan and Henry is 9-months-old and can’t be separated from me for three weeks! Maybe there are moms who could be away from their babies that long; I know there are. I’m just not one of them. We are still breastfeeding and hope to do so until Henry is at least a year old; I don’t want to jeopardize that. Obviously I could have cancelled; I think the company would have understood my reasons. We would have taken a hit financially, but if I didn’t feel that we would be safe on tour, we would have found a way to work around the money. Once we got the information we needed to feel safe going, it just seemed like the best option for us all to go together.

If it sounds like I’m explaining myself, I kind of am - to myself. Every day I have to make choices about life as a working mother, and none of them are easy. Whether it’s taking my family to Japan or taking an hour at yoga to clear my head and focus my body, every decision carries consequences. Sometimes those consequences are immediately visible, some I won’t know for years to come. But I am learning to trust my instincts and to trust Henry’s resiliency - and Matt’s support! We are making our way as a family and I think we’re all doing a bang-up job.

Besides, other members of the tour may be bringing their families over for shorter periods of time, rather than from Day One like we are. There are many other flights to Tokyo and Nagoya in June! So, just because there aren’t many guests on this flight doesn’t mean they won’t be there. Right??

Breathe in, breath out; day in, day out... This is our life, and I love it.


Robert said...

I was still subscribed to your feed. Welcome back.

me said...

welcome back :) Nice to see you in these parts again!

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