Sunday, February 11, 2007

Kind of Blue

When both my mother and my surrogate-Santa Fe-mother inquire within 24 hours of each other as to why I’ve been so quiet lately, I guess the gig’s up!

I haven’t been hiding intentionally. Just nursing yet another cold and a case of the winter doldrums. January was filled with warm weather and the thrill of starting work at the Met. February has so far brought cold weather the likes of which I haven’t seen since Boston six years ago; the day-to-day routine of a job, amazing and flexible though the job may be; the fourth or fifth head cold since my arrival in NYC; and some weirdness in the social scene. In short, it’s been kind of a drag. A friend who was born and raised here warns me that the next couple of weeks, as the weather stays cold, are going to be even harder, but that by the end of the month, things will start to look up. Um, thanks for the warning? Very encouraging.

In what is very likely a case of the chicken and the egg, I haven’t been to yoga since Christmas, haven’t been meditating, and haven’t been eating well. Hmmm… anybody have a guess as to why I’m in the dumps? And yet, the cycle continues and I haven’t been able to kick myself in the pants and get out of it. Which means I’m not studying as much, not learning as much music, not practicing as much. And getting more frustrated about it as a result. But I should be reaching critical mass here pretty soon, so expect lots of posts about productivity in the near future. (Insert emoticon for annoyed sarcasm here...)

I’ve also been thinking a bit more about my blog and its role in my life. It might have aided in getting me a job, but it also might have played a hand in losing a friendship. I’m not 100% clear on either count, but I believe the concert was likely involved in some way, however small, in both. I’m not sure what that means as to the future of the blog, but it’s on my mind.

So, that’s that. I’ll put up another lame bullet points post this afternoon to catch you up on some of what’s been going on. I have a bunch of other posts in the pipeline, too, about staging and learning roles and an upcoming recital. See above about when to expect those.


Southern Gal said...

hmm, wondered what was up. sorry the winter blahs have you by the throat. Feb is hard in NYC - it has been every year that I have lived here.

take care of yourself - no aphorisms here just give yourself a lot of hugs and time. its been a HUGE change for you these last six months - its expected that you come down a bit!

(but still isnt it great to walk into the MET to go to work? )

give yourself small treats - dont worry about the yoga, etc just hibernate and relax.

sorry to hear about blog effect - hope it works out.

Scatterbrained Seal said...

What exactly is a head cold? I've been sick lately, and my head has been unbelievably stuffy. I can't feel anything when singing, and it's getting annoying.

And about blogs and losses? I know first-hand what a blog in the wrong hands or read by the wrong person can do. I hope you don't stop blogging, though. I enjoy reading it! :)

Scatterbrained Seal said...

Um, pardon me, but...

FUCKING CONGRATULATIONS!!! Ainadamar won for Best Opera Recording! I'm SO happy for you! :D

Anonymous said...

Go to a yoga class, you'll feel better.

I've started reading "Song of the Lark" and I'm enjoying it. Another book that I'd recommend (as a device to de-doldrumize you) would be "Emily of New Moon" or ANY L.M. Montgomery book. They aren't geared towards singers... but Emily experiences heightened moments of being that she calls "the flash." I think of these often in my life and my singing - and they seem akin to your posts about duende.

Furthermore - I'm sorry that your blog has had an unfortunate consequence, but it is also a treat for your devoted fans and fellow humanists. Keep up the good work - in everything!

Anonymous said...

Ya know what? It's winter. You're normal! Brava to that. :) You'll cheer up soon, thanks to Punxsutawney Phil. Try a glass of wine, a room full of candles, and a journal.

Campbell Vertesi said...

I know what it's like - once you break the positive growth cycle (yoga, meditation, eating well...), it's a slippery slope! The good news is, you only have to get your ass up to do ONE of the things from that positive cycle again, and you'll find it rejuvenating... it will be much easier to get back to the rest of it, and to feeling good again.

Not that I can talk. I haven't seen the gym in weeks (is it still there?), but I'm slowly clawing my way back to eating well.

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