I’ve been in Virginia for a week now, after a wonderful ten days with B (trying on a new role: supportive opera girlfriend. I think it might be my favorite role to date!) and a quick trip up to NYC for an audition. Candide rehearsals have started and are going well. I’m getting to work on my other summer assignments - a Blier recital and Ariadne - and starting to format my Zerlina text pages. B gets here this evening, and then the summer will be fully underway. In short, life as normal!
Except... I’m not sure where blogging fits into the picture anymore. I’ve titled this post “Chapter Three” because it feels like the blog is coming into it’s next phase, its third. The first was the beginning, obviously, writing about auditions and small gigs. Fresh-faced and naive and idealistic, I wrote about my life as a singer without really getting into the tough stuff, glossing over growing pains and hurdles on the blog the same way I did in my life. In Chapter Two, after my divorce, I wrote (and lived) with a bit more candor. Auditions and jobs got bigger, and I blogged my journey into the heart of the young new music community. Blogging was as much a part of my life as warming-up, as learning new music. I became “ACB.” (It is funny how widely this nickname has spread; strangers know and address me by it, showing that not all nicknames come from familiarity.)
I’ve heard from young singers that they have appreciated me sharing my journey, even hearing from some that they consider me a mentor. A handful of opera administrators have indicated that they read or have read the blog, and most have been complimentary, saying they’ve enjoyed my insights into “the biz.” I’ve made some really great friends through the blog, and I have given industry outsiders a window into life on and behind the stage. All these are results - side effects, maybe - of keeping a regular public journal, and I am grateful and blessed!
Personally, I think I relied on the blog community over the past couple of years. I wrote regularly not only because I had lots to write about, but because I needed a confidante. I never kept a diary as a kid (or as a teenager); this blog has been the most regular journal I’ve ever had. And even though I didn’t work through personal issues here (you heard only the faintest whisper of my NYC dating dramas, for example), I nevertheless came to rely on having a place to put my thoughts down. I have great friends and family, but I don’t talk to them everyday and see them even less frequently. But I could “talk” to the blogosphere everyday if I wanted to. I think it might even be safe to say that the blog was my primary relationship!
And now, well, I have a boyfriend. (Silly word, boyfriend, when we’re in our 30s, but what can you do...) I talk to him every day about everything. For the past three months, there hasn’t really been anything left for the blog! I had to force myself to sit down and write. I even entertained the thought that the days of The Concert might be over... haven’t I said everything I wanted to say? What else is there to share?
Time will tell. I don’t think I’m ready to throw in the towel, but I think there will be a big change in content, at least in the quantity of it. I’ll probably spare you all the “soup to nuts” entries of role preparation; I think I covered that pretty darn thoroughly with Susanna and Rosina! I’ll continue to talk about rep and technique hurdles and trials of life on the road as they come up. I’ll post fun stories when I can, keeping in mind that my colleagues are also “bigger” these days and have their own rights to privacy. I have no doubt that there could be lots of interesting posts on the challenges and joys of being involved with another singer, but I’m afraid I won’t be “going there.” I’m sure B will pop up in a post from time to time, but how we make it all work, logistically and otherwise, will stay private. Overall, I’m only going to write when I really have something to say.
Thanks for sticking around during this station break. Chapter Three of The Concert will begin shortly...