Must be Prom Time

Twenty-nine of the last 100 referrals that brought people to my website have been web searches (Google, Yahoo, etc.) for “hair-do,” or “easy hair-do,” or “long hair-do,” or my personal favorite: “how-to hair-do.” I love it! Granted, I have a post entitled Hair-Do’s, but I find it ironic that all these folks are coming to me looking for hair help! My post is all about how bad I am with my hair! Makes me chuckle.

Other referrals include searches for Andrea Gruber (in various forms: “Andrea Gruber,” “Andrea Gruber addiction,” “Andrea Gruber opera addiction”), Benjamin Luxon, “a very merry unbirthday,” and “high f O zittre nicht.” I know I mentioned Ben Luxon sometime during last summer's Tanglewood entries, but I can’t find it! You’ll have to trust me on this one. There is also the occasional search for “Anne-Carolyn Bird,” which, I have to say, weirds me out a little! I mean, I know I have a career in the public eye (or at least, I’m trying to), but it feels a little stange – and a little good! – to know that folks are using “the internets” to learn more about me.

I also get a lot of referrals from other blogs, most notably Alex Ross’s fine collection of music blog links. Ionarts, Prima La Musica, and The Standing Room have also sent folks my way. I also got slammed the other day when Chiara mentioned me. Seriously, my hits were doubled that day! Of course, she is a Diarist Award winner, so she has a following... Thanks to all who’ve referred their readers here! I try to return the favor, although percentages are still in your favor. But my readership is up! That makes me happy.

However you get here, however long you stay, I’m glad to have you. Happy reading and blogging!

Unexpected

I gave a short lunchtime recital yesterday at the new Central Branch of the Seattle Public Library. It is truly an amazing building, architecturally, but I found it a bit cold. Not in temperature, but in feeling. Lots of metal and concrete and odd colors. Not really the sort of place I’d want to curl up with a book. They do have an amazing collection of musical scores and recordings, though, so I’m sure I’ll be back.

Before the recital, I went up to the 8th floor where they have several small practice rooms equipped with nice electronic keyboards. I was able to reserve on for noon (it was 11:57 when I checked in), so I went to wait by the door for the last three minutes. The gentleman who emerged when the librarian knocked on the door at noon had been playing beautiful music on the piano, sort of a mix of classical and jazz. He had obviously had years of training. So imagine my surprise when he gathered up his old backpack and plastic bags, put on his dirty coat, and shuffled out, eyes down, not responding to the comments of “That was beautiful!” or “You are very talented” from the people in the hall. From the librarian’s brief encounter with the man (when he opened the door, he said, “Sorry, but time’s up. You know how much I love to hear you play…), I gathered that he was there on a regular basis. Maybe even daily.

This massive, strange, beautiful place isn’t just a place to read newspapers from around the world, listen to five different recording of Debussy’s Pélleas et Méllisande, or pick up the latest blockbuster to read on the bus. It is a place where all the people of Seattle can feed their souls.

A new project

A new project idea is brewing. I’ve been thinking about recording a CD project for some time now, and next year seems like a good time to do it. I’m planning on lightening my load next year, taking on fewer gigs in order to focus on taking better gigs. (All part of the “recognizing that I’m a professional” stage!) This will make time for voice lessons and coachings in new roles, something I was woefully lacking this year, and for a “career-development” project like a CD.

I’m in the very early stages right now, but I think I have a theme in mind: American composers and poets. This idea came to me as I was thinking about the kinds of art songs I love to sing, and 20th C American songs are always at the top of the list. I know this next thought will be blasphemy to some, but I’ve just never been able to get into German Lieder. I’d say that French is 2nd after American/English, then Russian, and then German. I know, I know, the “Schu’s” were genuis, but their songs never move me the way Bernstein (“So Pretty”), Ives (“Memories” – so fun!), Debussy or Poulenc do. So, I won’t be recording any Lieder any time soon.

Another reason for this theme is that I have relationships with composers with whom I can collaborate to bring a new work to life. I have presented some poetry to a young composer colleague, and he has agreed to take a look and see what moves him. It is a thrilling prospect, let me tell you. No names yet, not until I know for sure that I have the money lined up to pay him!

Yes, money. That’s the big detail to work out. Erik (my husband) is a recording engineer, so that aspect of the project is in good hands. He also has a degree in Music Business, so he knows all about copyrights and licenses and all that jazz. But how to pay for it all… I’m looking into grants, but those are so hard to win these days. I’m thinking of approaching my grad school and Tanglewood to see if they can get me in touch with people who like to give money to young and upcoming musicians. Tanglewood, especially, with their focus on new music, seems like a great place to find a sponsor. I’m also thinking of ways to approach patrons of the arts here in Seattle, people who maybe have seen me perform and would be interested in helping me take this next step in my career.

After the CD is completed, it would be available at some of my concerts and on my website, as well as in local record stores. I might even get it up at Amazon, if possible. The composer and I have talked about a little concert tour before recording, in order to build up some “buzz” and give his work a proper premiere. We’d have vouchers available for buying advance copies of the CD, kind of like buying the next Harry Potter book six months before it’s due for release… =]

Like I said, very exciting. I’m sure I’ll post more details as they come up. Oh, and feel free to email me about making a donation!

An Off-Topic Post

When I started this blog, I told myself I’d stay on topic – my life as a singer. But I just have to vent for a minute! I came across this article this morning about the current and intensifying drought in Washington state. (Insane, I know, to even put the words “drought” and “Washington” in the same sentence, but it is true.) Rainy winters have never bothered me here, but this winter, I would get depressed if I woke up and it was sunny! It just wasn’t right. Cool, cloudy, misty days. That’s what Seattle winters are supposed to be. Sweaters and jeans and clogs. No tank tops allowed until May!

But, it was a sunny, gorgeous winter, and now we’re in a drought. And yet, so many people seem oblivious to this fact! Our neighbor spends an hour (I’m not making this up) watering his driveway!! At least, that’s how it seems from my side of the fence. I’m sure he’s washing away pine needles and saw dust and dirt. But, honestly, has he not heard of a BROOM??!! Two evenings in a row, now, Erik and I have had to close our windows while eating dinner, not to shut out the white noise of I-5 three blocks away, but to close out the incessant and depressing sound of waste.

At least it’s his water bill.

"Sing something!"

An Alert Reader™ sent me this singer-themed Miss Manners column the other day. This complaint is heard over and over in singer circles!

It’s not that we don’t like to sing in public. I mean, that’s our job! But that’s just it – it’s a job. And like everybody else with a 9-5 job, sometimes it’s nice to not be working. Instead of asking singers to sing on the spot, ask when they will be performing in your area. We will gladly plug our performances! And you’ll probably enjoy the experience a bit more, as well.

(On a side note, Bird-family favorite Dave Barry, the originator of the Alert Reader™ brand, has a blog!)

Passion

A while back, I alluded to some big gigs in February of 2006 and 2007. I still can’t talk about 2007, but it’s finally time to get next year’s big gig off my chest. It’s been “official” for a couple of months, now, but it didn’t really seem real until I saw this website.

Next year I will make my European debut singing Osvaldo Golijov’s Grammy-nominated Pasiòn Segun de San Marcos. This is thrilling for me in so many ways. First, LONDON! Enough said. The two week tour will also make stops in Atlanta (three performances for the hometown crowd!) and New York. The NYC performances are part of Lincoln Center’s Osvaldo Golijov Festival. Second, I am so honored that Osvaldo chose me to sing this piece. I will never forget my first encounter with him at Tanglewood in 2003, guiding us through Ainadamar. His intensity was almost off-putting at first, but by the end of the summer I knew I had found a kindred spirit. He loves my singing, but I think he will always have a soft spot in his heart for my dancing in Ainadamar! He calls me his “beautiful horse,” which I choose to see as a term of endearment.

The London concert is six days before my 30th (un)birthday. I was in Los Angeles for my birthday in 2004, singing the West Coast premiere of Ainadamar with Dawn and Osvaldo. Is this the start of a trend? I don’t think I’d mind spending every other birthday singing his wonderful music!

So here we go. Next season is an international one.
Somebody pinch me . . .

Voice Lesson

WARNING!! Serious tech talk within. Enter at your own risk!

Yesterday I had a voice lesson with Carol Vaness. She is good friends with Vinson Cole, who I call my teacher, even though I’ve had only four lessons with him over the past two years, and she was in town to see Vinson in dress rehearsals for Les Contes d’Hoffmann at Seattle Opera, which opens this coming weekend. (Looks like there’s an interview with Vinson on the the SO homepage; very interesting, and good prep for those of you who will see the opera.) I didn’t really know what to expect, but I was very excited to sing for her – and to have some “hands-on” help with these damn high notes!

We met at Vinson’s beautiful Capitol Hill apartment, where she was finishing up with another student. When it was my turn, we settled into some chairs for a few minutes and she asked me to tell her a bit about myself. It was at this point that we also talked about our love for cute cheap shoes and the gorgeous greens that are in fashion this season. Fabulous! We talked a bit about my move into Coloratura Land, and she understood my hesitation immediately. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it here before, but coloraturas often get a bad rap, viewed as the pretty little songbirds that aren’t too bright. Not how I want to be viewed! But she reminded me that the great coloratura roles – Lucia, Zerbinetta, Adina, even Norina – are not cutsy. They are fierce, strong, wily, and smart. Yeah, yeah, I know all the bel canto ladies go crazy when they lose their loves, but still! She joined her voice to those others who have been telling me this for a year now, and, slowly but surely, I’m starting to believe it myself. I can be a smart coloratura!

She led me through some vocalises, not to warm me up, as I had done that before I came, but so that she could start to get a sense of my voice. After a few exercises going up, we turned around and headed down the keyboard. Somewhere around A or B below middle C, she asked me if I ever used my chest voice. I don’t really, although when singing low I imagine adding on a lower resonating chamber; I just never settle my voice fully into my chest cavity. Carol said, “If you’re going to sing Lucia, you’ll have to use your chest voice!” So we worked a tiny bit on that part of my voice, singing gentle five note scales (do re mi fa sol fa mi re do) starting at the bottom of my range and heading up. She spoke to me while I was singing, guiding me through the passaggio (literally, “passage,” or the section of the voice where you move from one resonance to another; most voices have three or four) between chest voice and lower head voice. Fascinating. We went all the way up without changing exercies, and when we stopped she talked about how different my voice was when I allowed the colors of my chest voice to permeate the rest of it. (Wow, this is hard to put into words!) Basically, she encouraged me to not cut out any part of my voice, not to disregard it. Of course, that doesn’t mean I should start belting my way through Mozart. Rather, simply let my voice sing with all its colors.

When we moved on to repertoire, I knew exactly what I needed help with. I told her that, while I knew I was a coloratura, I was still terrified of my highest notes. Right now, I can sing up to the Queen’s high F’s, but it scares me, which inhibits singing, right? Right. So I started singing. I could go on and on (as I already have, a bit!) about how much she helped me with the Vengeance Aria. She got me to let go of the consonants and to really sing on the vowels, she helped ground my body so I wasn’t getting caught in my shoulders, and (drumroll, please!) she helped me find those F’s! For the first time, I sang all four with no fear, and even I could tell that they were great. Again, it was all about the vowel. Even though I sing an “ah,” if I think “oo” it flips the high notes into the magic spot, and they are easily right on pitch. So great.

We also worked a bit on another Mozart aria, Durch Zärtlichkeit from Abduction, which I would be singing that evening at an audition. It has three high E’s at the end, and she helped me gain confidence here as well. Her tip? When you get to the difficult phrase, disengage and go into robot mode. Don’t try to act, don’t try to color it, just let it come out. Trust your technique to get the notes right, and trust Mozart to get the emotion/acting/interpretaion to come through in the music. She assured me that my E’s were great, but that I was judging myself so harshly that, even if the first one was great, I assumed it was bad and tried to mess with the next two. And let me tell you, at my audition, I was able to put her words into action. When I got to that phrase, I put my hands on my hips (a pose very appropriate for this character!), and “disengaged.” Hell if it didn’t work beautifully! After those notes were out of the way, I was able to really get back into character, because there was no voice in head saying, “those E’s were awful.” It was a great feeling.

Carol will be coming to Seattle semi-regularly for the next few years, as she will be an adjunct professor at UW. I can’t wait to work with her again.

I couldn't resist

Your Inner European is French!

Smart and sophisticated. You have the best of everything - at least, *you* think so.

Who's Your Inner European?

I could have told you that... =]

All dolled up

Anyone who has ever been around me while I'm getting ready for a concert knows that my least favorite part is doing my hair. Since my hair was naturally curly when I was in jr high and high school (don't ask me what happened; hormones are crazy things!), I never really played around with curling irons and blow dryers and product. Imagine my horror then, when my hair grew back straight after a drastic cut my freshman year in college! As it grew out, I realized that I knew nothing about how to make it look good. So I kept it short, grew it long and straight, or just left it to its own devices. Each look managed to work with my overall style at the time, but when I entered grad school and started my path to Divahood, I knew I was in trouble.

I mastered makeup thanks to very helpful women at the Clinique and Lancôme makeup counters. I slowly moved away from my black, vintage, and generally shapeless wardrobe and have embraced color, cut, and timeless styles (timeless, not dated!). But my hair has still been the thorn in my side. I've been known to style and re-style my hair four times before a concert, each time dissatisfied with the mess on my head.

So, imagine my joy when this appeared on the back of my head yesterday:


I know it doesn't look like much, but for me it is a huge step forward! It is a variation on a style that my Pamina wore in Flute, and it seemed to be way beyond my reach. But I did it!! Hopefully I'll be able to repeat the 'do, and my days of swearing at my hair are over.
 

Mailing List

If anybody has tried to join the mailing list on my website in the past few months, you may have noticed that it was broken. Well, it works now! New and improved, too. So, if you’d like to receive semi-regular updates about upcoming concerts and news, sign up now! Of course, there probably won’t be anything in the email that you wouldn’t have read here first…

Now to update/overhaul/redesign the rest of the website…

Not so pretty

It is somehow easier to write about the good things here – the new gigs, the successful gigs, the fun stories. The past month has been, while not exactly bad, a bit harder than most. A persistent cold that has only just left me; a long trip to NYC where I had to muscle through the cold to give a concert and two auditions (thank god - or, rather, Phyllis! – for good technique); coming to terms with being overbooked, and, hence, having to bow out of a commitment; and the general malaise of springtime. All in all, not stuff I want to dwell on. But they are part of this life of performing, so they deserve a mention.

I think I’ve talked enough about being sick. I will say two things, though. First, I have become determined to get to the root of the causes of my frequent sickness. The mental, emotional and physiological causes; I suspect that all those aspects are playing a part. Stress management, a few holistic health professionals, and continued therapy should help me get that part of my life under control. (A word on therapy: Everyone should do it! I’m determined to help remove the stigma of being in therapy, to help people see it as a part of overall “health care” and not something for crazy people. Although, we’re all a bit crazy, aren’t we?) The other thing about this bout of sickness: my husband finally caught something from me. He gets sick maybe once every two years or so, but this one was too fierce to be ignored. The difference, though, was the he lost his voice! Scary. I have never – knock on wood – lost my voice like that. I know several other singer who did this season, and the idea is so scary. All the more reason to get my health in order.

I ended up giving two auditions while I was in New York; I had only been planning on the one. But while rehearsing with my pianist (a fairly connected NYC native whom we’ll call R), he mentioned that he was playing for another manager’s auditions that evening. He called their office and got me in. I was still coughing and had very little middle voice, but my line and high notes were there. So I did the audition. It went well enough for a last minute thing. I wasn’t terribly impressed with the company (he was late and a bit disorganized), but they haven’t called me, either! All in all it was just another opportunity to sing for someone in the business.

The second audition – and the one I was most concerned with – was the next day, and I was still feeling pretty crappy. My voice felt weak and my uppermost notes were just not there. But I decided to leave the “high note arias” on my rep list, trusting in the adrenaline factor to help out if need be. At the audition, R and I decided to change my starting aria from “O zittre nicht” (Magic Flute) to “Come, now a roundel” (Midsummer). (In most auditions, the singer selects the first aria, then the panel chooses from the remaining selections on the singer’s repertoire list.) I’d started all my auditions this winter with the Flute aria, and it was a great starter for me, but that day I knew I’d be too worried about the high F at the end to give a great performance. The Midsummer aria is slow and shows control, and also has a great high note, even though it’s “just” a C#. It went very well, and then, the heavens really smiled on me. Instead of asking for another opera aria, Mr. W asked for Bach!! I couldn’t believe my luck. Bach is like a balm, both for the voice and the soul. I nailed the aria (“Ich folge dir” from St. John), and afterward we talked about Tanglewood and my upcoming events. It was very pleasant conversation, not at all forced. All in all, a great audition, even with the stress of not having all my notes. Now, we wait.

This is a long entry, so I’ll write more in another post about being overbooked, and also about the drama at the airport on my way home from NYC!! Sheesh.

Confirmation

Just in case any of you think I've been exaggerating the way most singers are viewed by instrumentalists, check out this post at in the wings. At least she thinks some of us breath well.

(I enjoy this blog quite a bit. So this is not meant as a dig, merely as evidence that I haven't been making things up!)

On the homefront

Often when I’m away for these medium-length trips (10 days, in this case), things at home pretty much stay the way they were when I left. This time, though, I have really felt out of the loop, as big changes and big opportunities are happening at home.

The first is that our stolen car was recovered! Not a scratch, nary a dent. Only covered in pine needles after sitting on a quiet street for a month. It was found near our old house, oddly enough, with and 1/8 of a tank of gas – 1/8 less than the 1/4 tank it had when they took it. The fuse panel is off, and the radio doesn’t work, which leads us to believe that they used the radio fuse to hotwire the car. But other than that, it is fine. Thank god I hadn’t settled with our insurance company yet! (That was just one of many things on my To Do list that got bumped by this trip.) So all is well in that department. I was not looking forward to going thrrough the classifieds or craigslist again, looking for another cheap car in great condition. Now I don’t have to!

The second, and more far-reaching, is that our landlords have decided to sell the duplex we live in. They live in the downstairs unit, and we’re upstairs; she has also been our realtor while looking for our new house. You may recal that about a month ago we decided to look for a duplex or triplex to share with S&L, Erik’s sister and her girlfriend. After a heartbreaking losing bid on a great duplex, we were ready to put aside the house hunt until the fall, when (hopefully) the market will be a bit calmer and I’ll be home from Santa Fe. Well, that’s all changed! I think our landlords would be very happy to sell the duplex to us, and we would certainly be happy to buy it. We will all save money this way, as we will avoid the 6% realtor commission, and they will be happy knowing that their home of 25+ years will be in good hands.

I’ve missed out this week on the talks with the girls and Erik, though, about what we like and don’t like about the house/location/yard and about all the things we would need or want to change about it. I’ve been sad to be away from that. It’s so fun to sit around and dream out loud, to say “what if we …” and have everybody say “ooh, that would be fun!” I know those talks have only just started, and I will get to be involved in my share, but the first few are the most exciting.

This is the part of a life “on the road” that I don’t like. I know it’s inevitable; life goes on whether I’m at home or not! And thank god it does. We have phones and emails and blogs to maintain connection, to try and share the ups and downs of life on my end or theirs. But there is no substitution for a knowing look, an impish glance, a warm hug, or daydreams over a simple meal. At least I know that those things, too – and more – will be waiting for me when I get home.

A dry spell of writing, heavy weather otherwise

I haven’t posted in the past couple of weeks because I’ve had too many things to write about and not enough time to write about them. So I’m afraid it’s time for another bullet points entry. Some topics may reappear in future posts with more details, but I’m not going to hold my breath. Life has a way of moving forward, not stopping and looking back… So here’s what I’ve been up to:

• After my trip to Boulder, I had five days at home to get ready for my trip to New York. In those five days I attended a rehearsal for Orpheus in the Underworld at UW; had a crucial, grounding breakfast with a good friend; hid in a closet and yelled “surprise!” at the appropriate time; came down with a cold, right on schedule; crammed more atonal melodies into my head; and celebrated my 5th Wedding Anniversary.

• The celebration included an exquisite – and exquisitely presented – dinner at The Georgian (ironic in that our wedding reception was at The Georgian - in Athens, GA) and a pampered night at the Fairmont Olympic in downtown Seattle. We have decided to occasionally give ourselves glimpses of the luxurious life we ultimately want for ourselves, and what better time than a milestone like our 5th. Like our wedding, big nights out on the town can serve as public statements of our intent – we are Together and in this for the Long Haul!

• I arrived at JFK on the JetBlue redeye and got a ride to Brooklyn with a very, umm, colorful driver. I stayed in my brother’s apartment last week while he was in Amsterdam and E and S were visiting E’s family in Wisconsin. It was very strange being in the apartment without them, but I had a friendly and affectionate cat to keep me company. I nursed my cold by eating in, drinking tea, and not calling any friends! I continued to cram.

• Rehearsals started on Tuesday for Thursday night’s A.R. Thomas Profile Concert at Miller. I was a guest artist with Alarm Will Sound, a new music ensemble that formed when most of the members were students at Eastman. Since they have known each other and worked together for almost 8 years, they have an easy rapport and rehearsals are efficiently run. Talented individual performers coming together to form a top-notch ensemble dedicated to giving new music a voice in the concert hall.

• The concert itself went fairly well. I missed a couple entrances – and no telling how many notes! – but the desired affect was achieved. A friend of mine said that when the piece was over, she and her friends said that they wanted to hear it again right away. That’s a good sign! I know that Augusta was pleased; she thanked me for learning her piece “so well,” so my little slips must have been little indeed. She asked for my contact info so that she could put other organizations in touch with me when they wanted to program In My Sky at Twlight. Read a review of the concert here.

• After a very large martini (too large, honestly, if there is such a thing) Thursday after the concert, I slept in on Friday. In the afternoon I walked around the neighborhood, practicing fiscal discipline by not purchasing the beautiful, brightly colored dresses in the shop windows, and eating a decadent chocolate croissant with my afternoon coffee.

• A mini-Tanglewood 2004 reunion occurred on Saturday. Two of the Fellows, both tenors, were singing in the finals concert of the Oratorio Society Competition at Weill Hall, and one of the Piano Fellows was playing. It was an exciting concert, in general, with a couple voices that thrilled me so I almost jumped out of my seat and yelped. There was a baritone who sang rapid-fire Handel coloratura while looking so relaxed he could have been yawning and a gentle young mezzo who walked on the stage looking scared to death, but as soon as she started to sing transformed into a young Lorraine Hunt Lieberson. It was wonderful. Neither of our friends placed in the top three, which was a travesty, in my mind. But I won’t go into that here.

• The NYC Bird family got home on Sunday, and we’ve been hanging out and catching up. Syliva is darling as ever, and the next little Baby Bird is present in the slightly wider hugs to E. I’m still nursing the cold, and hope to have all my high notes back by Wednesday when I audition for the folks at Dispeker. I’ll let you know how it goes…

A Family of Performers

I am the only professional musician in my family. Although we are a family of musicians (the stereotypical Von Trapp-style singing in church, paired with coffee shop open mic sets of Simon & Garfunkel and Jim Croce tunes with me on vocals, Dad on guitar and lending his easy tenor to harmonies, and Mark on bass), I am the only one sick enough to take it on as a full time job. But I am not the only performer.

My father is a minister and my sister is about to be certified as an American Sign Language interpreter. Yesterday at church, I got to see them both at work, and they are performers! Communication is their profession, as it is mine. Our media and messages may differ, but we thrive on sharing information and affecting people emotionally.

When I talked to Dad about it on the way home, he said that ministers often have Myers-Briggs’ test scores that are similar to those of actors, and that both groups are often Introverts. Something to do with our level of comfort in front of people: give Dad a podium and a robe (a set and a costume), and he is in his element. He can turn a phrase and deliver one-liners (comic and dramatic) in a way that has his congregation (audience) really understanding the heart of his message. But put him in a room full of strangers who don’t know him as “The Rev” (as he is lovingly called at his church), and he is a fish out of water! I don’t feel quite so out of place in similar situations, thanks to the person-to-person communication skills I learned (inherited?) from my gracious Southern mother, but I have discovered that I often enjoy being in a quiet corner at a party, instead of always in the center of the room.

My sister, Sally, has really found her voice, so to speak, as an ASL interpreter. Even though her hands are tiny (she’s not so big, herself), they are full of expression. She graduates this spring, and yesterday was the first chance many of us, including her fiance, have had to see her in action. I was scheduled to sing “I know that my Redeemer liveth” near the end of the 10:30 Easter service, and about fifteen minutes before I was to sing I thought “Oh, I should have asked Sally to sign while I was singing!” So during the hymn after the sermon, I motioned her to follow me out of the sanctuary. I sprung the idea on her, and she didn’t even hesitate! With ten minutes ‘til show time, I wrote out the words and she figured out her signs as I watched. I was so impressed at how she used her face and body – in addition to her hands – to tell the story. Her facial expression on “And though worms destroy this body” was awesome! She used her face to describe both the worms and the destruction, the grossness of decay. I couldn’t watch her while I was singing, but I’m sure it was a very effective performance.

It is somehow reassuring to have made these realizations about my family members. To know that I am not cut from a completely different cloth. My cloth is just a bit showier!

Happy Birthday, Mark!

(I know, I know, all the best pictures of my family members also have Sylvia in them!) 

Away from home, going home

For the first time in about three years, I am on an airplane and NOT on my way to an audition or job. It’s kind of nice! I’m going to spend Easter with my parents in Colorado, and, while I will be singing in church on Sunday, it doesn’t even remotely count as a business trip. How refreshing!

I brought plenty of “work” with me, though. I leave for New York a week from Sunday for the Augusta Read Thomas profile concert at Miller, and I still have a lot of prep work to do. I’m starting to get really comfortable with the piece, and coming up with a game plan for the best way to get the most out of rehearsals. A personal game plan, that is; I have no intention of trying to run the rehearsal! It helps that I have worked with the conductor before. Alan Pierson, of Alarm Will Sound, was a Tanglewood Fellow with me last summer. We met when he saved the day on a chamber music concert that we just couldn’t get together. It was a very small ensemble of excellent musicians, and with two or three more rehearsals we would have been able to “conduct” ourselves, which is often best for small ensembles. For intimate chamber music, I think it’s best not to have an extra body standing between the ensemble and the audience. It’s supposed to feel like we’re in your living room! But, due to a strange set of mishaps and misunderstandings, we just couldn’t get comfortable with the piece in short order. Alan stepped in and gracefully guided us through to a great performance. In NYC, he’ll be conducting his own orchestra, so I assume he will be even more comfortable and in control.

I can’t remember if I wrote last summer about all the things I learned about the singer/conductor relationship at Tanglewood. Don’t ask me why, but before last summer, I viewed the conductor as a crutch, as something to lean on only if I needed help. This feeling was probably another by-product of all the “singers aren’t good musicians” comments I endured in college. Well, I’ll show them! I’ll be such a good musician that I won’t even need the conductor! The idea makes me laugh now. Unless I were doing a one-woman show, performing music is about collaboration. I have learned that I can communicate with a conductor – verbally during rehearsals, and in the mysterious non-verbal way during performance – and that together we can present a synthesis of our ideas of the composers work. It’s fascinating. The same thing applies to pianists during song recitals. I know it seems elementary, but it was a real discovery for me.

Well, I have digressed! What I was trying to say is that I have my ART score with me, and that I intend to step away from family craziness (meals at our house were once described as an “insanity refresher course!”) a few times a day to review notes. I also have Act I of Orphee aux Enfers, which starts rehearsal next week. Incredibly fun music, and very tonal! The perfect counterpart to the ART piece.

I’ll try to post again in a couple days, but if I don’t: Happy Easter! Mmmm, Cadbury Crème Eggs…

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Here's to many more stories read to many more grandchildren. Well, maybe not many, but at least a few!

Love you! 

Pesky question

I’ve been in a bit of a funk since last week, when, as you may have guessed, we didn’t get the house. Someone was willing to pay a lot more than we were, plan and simple. I am very disappointed to not have that problem neatly wrapped up! (Obviously, I’m also disappointed not to be living in a great house with my friends with more friends across the street. That goes without saying.) Since we leave in two months to go to Santa Fe, I think the house hunt is on hold until the fall. Kind of depressing, while at the same time a relief. One less thing to worry about, but at the same time, I think I’m dealing with that pesky question that pops up from time to time: how does this crazy career fit into my life?

In the same calendar year I (we) plan to buy a house AND spend three months temporarily living in a different state. Does that make any sense at all?! No, not really. And then the stress of house-hunting and car thefts and making dinner and doing laundry gets in the way of learning music for concerts that are rapidly approaching. Add to that mix my darling little dog who is training me for the day I have a three-year-old following me around the house saying “Play with me!” I get a bit freaked out; I wonder if I can do it all.

I guess any self-employed person faces the same challenges. I can’t just go to an office for 8 hours a day and deal with the rest of life on evenings and weekends. (Yes, I know “real” jobs aren’t so easily boxed up like that, but humor me.) That is something that I treasure about my job - the flexibility. I can give a concert on a Sunday night, drink two glasses of wine, and sleep until 10am. But that same flexibility can bite me in the butt when I have so many opportunities to procrastinate.

Maybe I feel like I’m still a student, and that all my musical pursuits are still small potatoes. That somehow the To Do List in my non-musical life is more important than my musical one. I don’t think I’ve fully realized that I have taken a big step recently, with an international concert booked for next year (I still haven’t written about that… soon.), offers from established singers to help get me in with bigger companies, and a New York debut next month. I am a professional singer! Maybe I’m in denial…

I think I’m just scared that all of my dreams won’t come true. Or that I will do something that causes a dream to not come true. I know that no one gets all of their dreams, I just want to get as many as I can. I mean, I have so many dreams already, why stop now?

Off to bed, and on to a more productive day tomorrow.

A different kind of nervous

We're putting in a bid on a house today. A duplex, actually, that we are hoping to purchase with Sonja & Laura. It is in a fabulous neighborhood, with a beautiful view of downtown Seattle (from the street, not the house), room enough for a small garden, and right across the street from our dear friends, the Taylors. We are all holding our breath until about 8 tonight, when the seller should have reviewed all her offers. And hopefully will have picked ours...

Practicing

This week my internet friend and fellow blogging singer, Tom, catalogued the books currently stacked on his piano. These are the projects – current, future, or just wishful thinking – that take up space in our minds and time in our days. I thought I would borrow the idea from time to time; I think it’s a great insight. Thanks for the tip, Tom, and good luck with all that music!!

Bach, St. John Passion Performance next Sunday (Palm Sunday) with Orchestra Seattle, at Benaroya Hall. I don’t know what it is about Bach, but his music finds it way into my voice so easily. I can move very quickly through the “what’s my next note?” phase into the music-making phase. Maybe it’s because I’ve been singing Bach from my earliest days as a voice student; his is a consistent presence through all my development. I’m putting together a demo cd right now, and I’m including a couple arias from Bach’s Cantata 202 that were recorded three years ago. Even though my voice has grown in many ways since then, I think this it some of my finest singing ever. Hopefully the St. John next week will join the ranks.

Augusta Read Thomas, In My Sky at Twilight Fabulously difficult piece of “new music” that is having its New York Premiere on April 7th. So nervous! I’ve never had to work on a difficult orchestral piece with neither a) a piano reduction or b) a couple weeks of rehearsal. In this case I have neither, but I do have a wonderful recording of Christine Brandeis singing the piece with Pierre Boulez at the helm. It is a sexy, sensual piece, all about love and desire. I hope I can get to the point with the music where I can be sensual. This is NOT a piece for the deer-in-the-headlights, “what’s my next note?” look! (That purple dress would help, yes?)

Offenbach, Orfée aux Enfers I’m working on the role of Eurydice, who enjoys her trip to the Underworld and doesn’t want to leave when (a very reluctant) Orpheus comes to claim her. Two fun arias and a fabulous duet with Jupiter, who has been turned into a bee. Lots of buzzing! I’ll be covering this for the University of Washington’s spring production.

New Arias: “Qui la voce . . . Vien, diletto,” from Bellini’s I Puritani; “Par la rang et par l’opulence,” from Donizetti’s La Fille du Regiment. I’ve been instructed by my teacher to get some bel canto into repertoire, and I am loving it.

Osvaldo Golijov, Tenebrae I’m trying to build a chamber music recital cd around this piece. Possible themes it could work with are “Light & Shadow,” religious texts, or string quartet rep. The score was given to me by Osvaldo, with a very sweet inscription, after the premiere of Ainadamar at Tanglewood in 2003. I’ve been looking for a performance opportunity ever since!

Opera scores for Santa Fe: Turandot (chorus), Peter Grimes (chorus and First Niece), and Ainadamar (ensemble, which is kind of like a chorus but generally smaller and each voice has moments in which it stands out; I don't think my role as Horseman made the final revision. No more dancing!).

So, you can see I’m keeping busy… If only there were more hours in the day.

Wearing Art

How much would you pay for this dress? A few things you can't tell by looking at it (unless you're a connoisseur of high fashion) that might affect your answer:

It is one of a kind.

It was designed by John Galliano.

It makes me feel like a goddess. (Well, maybe you can tell that just by looking.)

Discuss!
 

where, oh where has my little car gone?

I had planned to spend some time today writing about the rest of the operas this weekend (I was, overall, very happy) and about "Phase I degeneration" of the discs in my neck (won't that be fun?). But then we woke up to find our "new" car, a '94 Saturn that we bought two weeks ago, gone. Erik came in from walking KD and said, "Where did you park the Saturn?" Not a great way to start the day.

So I've been a big funk all day, not getting much done at all. Amazing how losing one's (newly acquired) mobility can but a damper on the day. On the bright side, it is another gorgeous day, so instead of driving out to the big dog park, KD and I just walked to the ball field a mile away. Cleared my head a bit.

But I'm still mad.

One down, two to go

Well, my first Queen of the Night is in the books! Not sure yet which books, but it is over and done. I was happy with how it went, although I still have a ways to go before I will be satisfied. I still have to focus a bit more on technique to get through the arias than I would like. I prefer to get to a point with my music where all I have to think about is the story I am telling. The monologue that runs through my head when singing the Vengeance Aria goes something like this: “Ok, keep it light. Don’t try to take the whole voice up to the stratosphere, just let it float. Right out the top of your head, that’s it. Keep those ribs expanded, sternum up.” And so on. It’s Phyllis Curtin’s voice that I hear, and it is comforting. Although I would much prefer to be able to stay completely in acting mode, as I can with so much of my other music.

Please don’t get the idea that I zone out of character while singing! That is a great fear of mine, having started life on the stage as a straight actor. I think I generally do a fair job of blending the disciplines. It’s just that now, while the Queen and her high notes are working themselves into my body and voice, the percentage is shifted a bit more to the singing side. Let’s say ideal balance for me is 80% focus on acting and 20% on singing; I feel that the Queen is at 40/60. Hopefully, though, still enough acting to be scary! View these photos and let me know what you think. (I'm the washed out redhead with the black antennae...)

I’m looking forward to two more chances to sing the role this weekend. Then, hopefully in the next couple of years, I’ll get to sing it many more times, and I can relax into this delightfully wicked (or callously betrayed, depending on your interpretation) character.

The rest of the cast is outstanding vocally as well as dramatically, as the above photos will attest. I have enjoyed working with them all, and feel I have found a kindred spirit in my Pamina. It’s not often two sopranos can ask each other for counsel on getting through difficult scenes in an opera! I know she has helped me progress, and I hope my advice has served her well.

So I say again, if you live in Western Washington and love opera, there is a gem hiding in Mount Vernon this weekend! More next week on all the other goings on…

Frida?

Put me with some brightly patterned fabrics, add a ribbon to my hair, and all of a sudden I'm a Northern European Frida Kahlo. Who knew? 

A Very Merry Un-Birthday!

To me!! I'm celebrating my 7 1/4 birthday today, along with 29 years of life. Someone asked me if I went a year backwards on my unbirthday, as they do in Wonderland. I've only had 7 birthdays! If I went backwards, I'd never make it to the legal drinking age...

So raise a glass to un-birthdays today. Cheers!

New laptop and a pain in the neck

I’m writing this on my new laptop. Erik and I each got some money from the sale of our house to do whatever we wanted with, and I decided to get a laptop. (It was actually Erik’s idea, and it was such a good idea!) It is really nice not having to kick Erik off of our PC whenever I need or want to do something, like write a blog entry. Funny how computers, like cell phones, have gone from “nice to have” to “must have one in the house” to “everyone needs their own!” I will also use this when I travel. I’ve been using a PocketPC with a fabulous roll-up keyboard and my cell phone as a modem for email while on the road, but it is a bit cumbersome. Right now I’m in my dressing room at the theatre. I got tired of working on my crochet project on my downtime, and as Queen, I have lots of downtime!

It turns out that my fabulous costume is so heavy that it has sprained my neck. I’ve had a steady severe pain in my neck for about two days now. I thought maybe it was caused by our new car, which doesn’t have power steering. (Don’t laugh! My mom pulled a muscle driving a car with no power steering. We’re delicate little flowers!) But after having this dress back on, I can actually feel it pulling on my neck. It has a lot of material in the back, so I must be overcompensating forward, so as not to fall over. I’m in a lot of pain today, which makes me grumpy, which is actually great for my character! I’m looking forward to a quiet ride home, maybe some Ray Charles, but that’s it. No talking, no singing, no unnecessarily loud PA system calling people to stage ten minutes before they’re actually supposed to be there. See what I mean? Grumpy.

But, on the bright side, I look amazing. I have died my hair deep red; think Debra Messing. They originally wanted black hair, but I talked them into red. I’ve been looking for an excuse to dye my hair again. And besides, this time, it’s tax deductible! I start the show with simple tight curls, which then become frazzled and frizzed as my true colors come out. My makeup also starts out very plain and white, with just a little shading (not even any eyeliner or lashes); in Act II, we add severe shadows in purples. It looks hideous face to face, but under the lights on stage, I’m told the effect is very scary.

Mary, our hair & makeup lady (and impromptu costumer, as the official woman has been awol), just came in to check on me. When she asked “how are you doing?”, I just about cried. She’s the kind of person who really wants to know, so I felt no need to put on a brave face. I just said, “I’m in a lot of pain, and it’s making me grumpy!” She loosened my dress and rubbed my shoulders a bit, and repinned my headpiece. Bobby pins sticking into the scalp don’t do much for grumpiness, either. She encouraged me to get my husband to rub some Tiger Balm into my shoulders and neck tonight. That sounds good to me; I hope Erik is up for it...

February Teaser

I have so much to write about, and no time to sit down and get my thoughts on paper. Rehearsals for Flute (That’s the third time today that I’ve almost typed “Glute” instead of “Flute.” Can you imagine?! The Magic Glute!! Love it!) are going very well. It’s going to be a wonderful show. I’m in the middle of a maelstrom of bookings for NOISE, the elementary school opera outreach group I’ve sung with for two years. This year my schedule was too busy to perform, so I took on the bookings. Now I’m beginning to realize that my schedule is too busy for this, as well!

I’m having to work hard on focusing, doing one thing at a time. When I have half a dozen tasks in my head, I’m always tempted (and often I give in to the temptation!) to try and multi-task. But all that ends of doing is streching all the tasks out longer than they would have taken if I had tackled them one at a time. Like just now I picked up my phone to make a call for NOISE, when what I really want and need to do is finish this post.

So, another teaser post for now. Here are the things I am wanting to write about, and I promise I will. Just as soon as I can breathe.
• Taxes! Self-employed folks, and artists of all ilk (ilks?), dread this time of year. What a headache.
• House-hunting, and Santa Fe housing.
• February as the Best Month of the Year. Yes, it has my birthday in it (un-birthday this year), but I also have had amazing gigs in February. And will have in February 2006 and 2007! Yep, I have an offer to do an opera in February of 2007. Like I said, teaser!
• A precious gift that was given to me by a retired singer at my Port Angeles Symphony concert.

Ok, now that I’ve put all this out there, I’m obligated more than ever to get it all down in a post. Pester me until I do it!

Two more things

I forgot to mention another case of discipline and dedication I encountered this past week. If you read the PI review, you might have noted that our music director, a lovely gentleman I’ve known for about two years now, played harpsichord and conducted with his right arm in a sling. The details weren’t known by the reviewer, and had they been known by the audience, he surely would have gotten the greatest ovation.

Wednesday (maybe it was Thursday) morning, when he went out to get the paper, Fred slipped on his icy front steps. He fell, breaking three toes and his collarbone and fracturing his eye socket in three places! He wore a patch over his right eye for two days, and the right side of his face was absolutely purple. But, he came to rehearsal that evening anyway, playing one-handed continuo and conducting as vigorously as he was able. We were all amazed! Then I learned that he did it all without any painkillers, because they made him too “cloudy” to conduct properly! Amazing. The show must, truly, go on. Fortunately, he had already scheduled six months off after the opera! If anyone deserves it, Fred does.

The other thing I have to share is rather embarrassing. It’s one thing to post a link to a review, it’s another to copy a flattering review into a post. Brazen! But I feel that I should, since, along with the strangers who I now know are reading, my friends and family stop by for news. This review didn’t make the online edition of the Seattle Times, so I copy the highlights here for your perusal…

“Guild steps to success with rich talent pool”
John Sutherland, special to the Seattle Times

[…] Even with the Purcell added, the entrire performance barely broke an hour and a half, a good thing for the short attentions spans of our age. [Come on, give us some credit!] The Purcell had other benefits: It brought some marvelous singers out of the blend of the chorus and into the spotlight as soloists, particularly alto Teresa Clark and the very impressive Bruce [really Brian] Cummings.
The extremely strong cast featured Amanda Jane Kelly as Venus and Glenn Guhr as Adonis, who both exchelled vocally and dramatically.
But no one shone brighter than Anne-Carolyn Bird, who played the trouser role of Cupid with such sprightly energy, she practically floated on stage. Not only is her mellifluous voice enough to lead the children out of Hamlin town, her vocal ornamentation is extremely tasteful, and her stage presence nothing short of magnetic.
Bird had excellent help from her “Little Cupids,” [yea!!] . . . These dancing roles were among the most impressive and elaborate children’s roles I’ve seen on stage, and it is to their credit, and the credit of choreographer Anna Mansbridge, that the parts were so dramatically effective. [. . .]

Like I said, embarrassing. Mamma and Granddaddy, that’s for you! I’m so glad my LC’s got a mention, too; they deserved it. The reviewer also looks forward to the EMG’s next opera, as do I.

EMG Wrap-up

The Early Music Guild opera is over, with a couple of great reviews in the Seattle papers. Here’s one, from the Post-Intelligencer. The audiences loved it, we had three full houses, and the EMG Board of Directors was happy. Happy enough that I think they’ll plan on another staged opera in two years. L’Incoronazione, maybe? I can dream…

I had several wonderful colleagues in the opera, four in particular. They were some of the most dedicated, disciplined, and focused performers I’ve worked with – and they’re all in elementary school! There were four children – Kyra, Madeleine, Emmy, and Carlin – who danced as Little Cupids. My little Army of Love, if you will. I was constantly impressed with their performance. They never missed a cue, were always the first ones in costume and makeup, and were extremely well-behaved and alert, even through the longest, most tedious rehearsals. At one point, the director (James Middleton) asked the chorus to take a step forward on the word “Weep” in the final chorus. There was some confusion as to whether or not he wanted us (the Little Cupids and me) to do the same. He didn’t, but the girls didn’t get the final note, so when the time came, all four of them took a step forward, in perfect time! Less than half of the chorus did the same. I had to stifle a laugh! All of us, the “mature grown-up professionals,” could really learn something from that kind of attention to detail.

I also had my first experience with (attempted) self-sabotage. I know a lot of singers struggle with this, the fear and feeling that you are going to fail, accompanied by actions that might ensure that failure. Mine was based on an actual event, but I think a lot feelings of self-sabotage come from what we imagine will happen. And the imagination is so strong! As I was recovering from my cold and cough, I had a moment in rehearsal on Wednesday where I started coughing in the middle of my scene. I was trying too hard to sing with my full voice, even though I hadn’t recovered it all yet. The pushing led to dryness and tension, which triggered the cough. We kept plowing through the scene, with Amanda (Venus) singing my part until I could recover! It wasn’t pretty. So, from that point on, I was terrified about it happening in performance. Even if I hadn’t coughed at all during the day, my throat would get tight and I would start coughing right before I had to go onstage. Nerves had never, up to this point, been a major problem for me; I’ve generally been able to channel the nervous energy into performance energy. But this was different. I was really scared! Fortunately, I made it through the performances without mishap, but it wasn’t until Sunday’s matinee that I realized how much of my fear was a self-imposed mental hurdle. Once I recognized it, I was able to put it aside, and I think I sang my best show on Sunday.

This is just another example of how large a part the mind plays in one’s success (or failure). You can be supremely talented, but if your mind is convinced that you are mediocre (or worse!), you’ll never survive. The mind must be conditioned for success along with the voice!

On The Air

I’ll be featured tonight on KING FM, Seattle’s classical music radio station, in an interview that we taped last week. It’s mainly a PR spot for the Early Music Guild show this weekend. Gigi Yellen is the evening host, and she said it will air sometime after 8pm (that’s PST, remember). If you’re interested in listening but don’t live in Seattle, check out the live streaming audio on the webpage.

This was my first real publicity interview, and I liked it! I think I’m a pretty good interviewee; my mom would say it’s because I like to talk about myself (who doesn’t?!). Mostly I enjoyed being asked thoughtful questions that allowed me to expound on my work, in both general and specific terms. Gigi and I talked a bit about the connection between early music and new music, and why so many singers sing both. I also talk about getting to play a boy. A rather androgynous, Baroque-y, elegant boy named Cupid, but a boy, nonetheless!

4 Shows in 2 Months

More on the reason I’m sick, other than the technical germy reasons. I spread myself a bit thin this spring, and I knew it months ago. I should have spent January resting up, quietly reading scores and listening to my study CDs on the couch. Instead we sold our house, found a new place to live, moved into that place, and put the rest of our stuff in storage; I also sang in a Tsunami Benefit and took a trip to New York. Ha! I just reread that post, and I said, “It’s a pretty low-stress move, since we don’t have to out of the house completely until February 10.” Hahahahahahahaha! There is no such thing as a low stress move!! I’ve moved at least 20 times in my 28 years; I should know that by now.

Anyway, January was far from restful, and then everyone around me started coughing. Not a good combination. I couldn’t just go to bed, though, and tough it out, because, as the title of this post implies, I’m working on four shows in February and March. Two operas, each with three performances, and two concerts. A full singer’s schedule, which is something I’m not used to!

The first was this past Saturday, a concert of arias with the Port Angeles Symphony Orchestra. My cold hit hard on Friday, but with a visit to the doctor on Saturday I was able to make it through. Fortunately I didn’t lose my voice until Sunday! The folks at PASO were outstanding. Very generous with their time, and flexible with the program. I asked to cut one number and be moved from after intermission to before. I sang five arias (The one I cut? Olympia’s aria from Les Contes d’Hoffmann. I didn’t have the energy needed for that kind of vocal precision.) for a wonderful audience, with a wonderful amateur orchestra, and a very sympathetic conductor. It was a great night. But, boy, was I glad to make it home and sleep in my own place.

No rest for the wicked, however. This Friday is opening night of an opera with the Seattle Early Music Guild, in which I am one of three leads. Thank god for early music being low! The piece isn’t taxing, since it’s all on the staff, and is actually quite fun. I get to be a boy (Cupid, without the diaper), which won’t happen too often in my career, so I’m enjoying playing with that energy. Mostly I love being in an actual theatre again. The dressing rooms, green room, stage manager, makeup, costumes, lights, all of it. It’s where I love to be.

Then March has the Magic Flute (rehearsals start in earnest next week) and the St. John Passion! Busy, busy. I will do my best to stay healthy. That might need to entail getting a massage every two weeks… darn.

When a singer gets sick

This is what happens when I try to do too much. Serious illness! Well, not serious in the big-picture-sense, but enough to relieve me of my voice for a few days. A cold that started as a tickle turned into a full-blown chest and head cold. Thanks to Zicam (and many other wonderful drugs), it is moving quickly, and I feel much better today than I did yesterday. Yesterday I was phonating around C below middle C! Cool for an effect, but not practical.

I need to get back to bed. I'll get back when I can and tell you about all the things on my plate that have gotten me to this point! All good, all fun, all taxing in their way. As my good friend and fellow musician said, "I'll tell you, kiddo, we're just gluttons and we keep doing it because we love it, no? But when the log jam comes, we sometimes wonder..." Don't I know it.
 

As if to prove her point

Mother Nature provided me with this amazing sunset at the end of a crazy day. Somehow, going to this rehearsal tonight just got easier. 

A Room of One’s Own

In our new apartment, I have an office. Techinically, it’s an alcove off the living room, but it’s big enough for the piano, my desk, and two bookcases. There is also a closet, which has a rod high enough to hold my gowns. (I had been storing them “off-site” at a friend’s house, because our tiny house didn’t have room to dedicate four feet of closet rod space to gowns. Now they’re back, and I can gaze at them any time I want!)

I’ve been amazed at how having this space has increased the efficiency of my practice. I used to have all my books in one room and the piano in another, so when I would leave the piano to get some music, I would inevitably get distracted and not make it back. Practice became a chore, so I did it less and less. Now, with music, dictionaries, reference books, piano, et al, in one space, I’m getting much more done. As I work through warm-ups and a specific song or aria comes to mind, I can find it and sing it. That piece may lead to another, also at the ready. Now, I have to force myself to stop and take breaks, or else I’ll spend all day at the piano!

Part of this new practice habit may stem from a big gig I’ve been hired for next season. (Details will be forthcoming…) It is being organized by a very large management company and has potential for some great exposure. So I’m starting to think about getting my “house” in order! I want to be ready for anything that may come out of it – other concert or even opera gigs, interest from other management firms, etc. – and that means being on top of my game. I have roles that I want to finish learning and have performance-ready to add to my rep list. (It is very lean in the standard repertoire department…) And I need to keep checking in with the technique, making sure every facet of it is ready to come to my aid when needed.

The room also has a window with a beautiful view of the Olympic Mountains, the brilliant sunsets, and the amazing cloud cover we have here in Seattle. Never a dull moment in this sky, and I am grateful to have such an inspiring scene in view everyday. Phyllis Curtin encouraged me to always “sing to the universe,” counsel easily heeded in this room of my own.

It's a small blogging world

I’ve recently felt more and more a part of the phenomenon that is the Blogging Community. I had an email from a colleague who said he found my blog listed in Alex Ross’s Music Blogs page. Imagine my surprise! I’ve been reading Mr. Ross’s (Alex’s? How formal is the blogosphere?) blog since last spring, and have a link to it right there on my sidebar. (Somehow I missed the post in which he mentions my blog…) The Rest is Noise is a wonderful reference point for all things related to living music, and by that I mean music that is performed today. Concerts, new recordings, new compositions, etc.. Not just classical artists, thank god, but also highly gifted and creative people like Sonic Youth, Bjork, Radiohead, and the team behind ABC’s Alias. (My Queen of the Night is modeled after Sydney's mother, Irina Derevko...) I have enjoyed reading the writings of someone whoses aesthetic is very similar to my own, but who is much more knowledgeable than I.

I assumed he had simply repaid the honor of my linking to his blog by giving me a “link-back,” but some of my more seasoned blogging friends say it might be more than that. He liked it well enough to recognize it on his page, and might even read it himself… Are you kidding me?! Once again I am amazed to think that people other than my friends and grandparents read this. Why do novice bloggers think no ones reads us? It’s not like we’re writing in a diary with a lock and burying it under the bed! I think it’s because there is so little feedback at the beginning. So, I’ve enabled the “Comments” feature on The Concert. If you read something you like, or have something to add, or just want to say hello, leave a Comment.

Now, I’m going to email Mr. Ross…

Photo explanation

My trip to NYC was wonderful, although I didn’t win or make the finals for Liederkranz. I feel good about my singing, but I think they took fewer people to the finals this year. I was a little disappointed, but I know how it goes! I’ll try again next year.

Now, to explain that photo. I thought it might be an interesting insight into the life of an oft-auditioning singer to see the warm-up space I rent when I’m in NYC. (Is it annoying that I always call it that? Should I actually write out New York from time to time?) Before this year and the once-dreaded move into Coloratura Land, I was fine with a simple warm-up: humming in the shower, singing a few mid-range scales while I got dressed. Nothing too excessive, and I didn’t feel bad making these sounds in Mark & Elizabeth’s small apartment. The most important thing at that time was getting the breath moving. Well, now it’s a different story! Now that I’m spending much more time in my high range, I find that I get tired too quickly if I don’t have a good warm-up. So rather than annoy my hosts with half an hour of scales that go ALL THE WAY up (my favorite: two octave scales and arpeggios; great for keeping the breaks smooth), I take advantage of a uniquely New York business: music studio rentals.

I get a small room with an electric keyboard (or upright piano if I can get upgraded to a bigger studio), some chairs, and a mirror for $14/hour. The larger studios have a full wall of mirrors and are often used for dance classes, theatre or dance auditions, or musical coachings. In my hour, in addition to vocally warming up, I’ll take care of all the other presentational details for my audition: applying make-up, curling my hair, changing out of my comfortable walking shoes (see embarrassing photo) into the heels that perfect the outfit. The audition location is usually near the studio, so I can handle walking six blocks in heels. Also notice the wool sweater over the dress; my “winter in Seattle” coat doesn’t quite cut it in NYC. My pre-audition outfit is pretty dorky! But in that little studio on 72nd, I transform into an opera swan. Hopefully, a better-singing swan. And one that doesn’t die afterwards.

Strange Photo

I'll explain this strange photo in a post, coming in a few minutes. I decided to do it this way so that this embarrassing picture of me won't be at the top of the page too long! 

Once again, to NYC

I take off tonight for a quick three-day trip to New York, this time for the Liederkranz Foundation competition. And, as usual, some QT with my niece! It’s a bit ill-timed, as we are moving into our new apartment this weekend, but, hey, what can you do. I’ve boxed up and toted over many of the essentials – linens, dishes, pantry items, not to mention my shoes! – so all that’s really left is the furniture. Erik will have lots of help, so I’m pretty sure it will go smoothly. Joel even thinks we’ll be finished before the Seahawks playoff game! We’ll see about that…

It’s a pretty low-stress move, since we don’t have to out of the house completely until February 10. We want to get settled before that, though, so we’re moving in now. Next week I’ll finish packing up the house with all the things that are going to storage – non-essentials like china, lots of books (but not all), tools. All the home-owner stuff that we won’t need while we’re renting. Hopefully we’ll be homeowners again by May.

That’s all for now! Happy New Year, if I haven’t said so already. Hopefully I’ll post next week with good news about the competition…

Andrea Gruber talks

Andrea Gruber, a soprano who we heard at Seattle Opera last spring as Minnie in La Fanciulla del West, is talking publicly about her struggles with drug addiction. She was on the fast track at the Metropolitan Opera in the early 1990’s, but her addiction quickly got in the way of her work. She was “not rehired,” as she says, until 2000, after she had gotten clean. Read the candid and inspirational article here. (The New York Times requires that you log in, free of charge.)

Say cheese!

Guess who got a new camera for Christmas?!! No, not KD - me! Hopefully this will mean many clear and exciting pictures of events in the months to come.  

Full-Circle

My dad sent me this newspaper clipping today; it's from an Albequerque paper sometime in July 1970. He and my mom, married only 8 months and stationed at an air base in Texas, came up to Santa Fe to visit an old college friend of my dad's and to see the opening weekend of the new open-air concert hall. Little did they know that they would one day have a daughter who was a true "opera enthusiast" and would sing in that very concert hall as a Santa Fe Apprentice!

A circle we didn't even know was open has come full-circle! =] 

Skagit Update

New plans for the Magic Flute set: Looks like we’ll be renting from Utah Festival Opera, not Sarasota. The theme is very similar – ancient Egypt – but I’ll bet it’s a bit less extravangent. (Therefore, more affordable!) The new pictures look great, although there is no shot of my costume . . .

Photo software

I'm trying out my new software that will let me post pictures on my blog. Here is our beautiful Christmas tree! Happy Holidays to everyone. 

Skagit Opera news

Ron Wohl at Skagit Opera has announced that our production (sets, costumes, etc.) of The Magic Flute will be a rental, courtesy of Sarasota Opera. For a new, small company, this is an affordable way to put on a great show, and the established company gets a bit of income from renting out their sets. See some impressive pictures here. Gorgeous! I just hope that there is a good guard rail on that raised set for the Queen…

The News

Last Monday morning I got an email that started like this:

“Dear Ms. Bird,
I am pleased to advise you that you have been accepted for the 2005 Santa Fe Opera Apprentice Singer Program.”

Woohoo!! Needless to say, I was ecstatic – for about five minutes. Right away, all the little things (and some big things) that would have to be arranged started running through my mind, not the least of which was getting time off for my sister’s wedding. The other big one: will Erik come with me? The program is a full three months, and we don’t like to be apart for more than a month, max. Even three weeks is pushing it! So we have all sorts of scenarios running through our minds.

But first, the wedding drama! The original wedding day was July 22nd. I looked on the Santa Fe website for the performance schedule, and the opera being performed that night is one I knew I wouldn’t be in. So I thought, no problem! I can leave late on the 21st and be back early on the 23rd, no problem. Well, late on the 21st there is the Dress Rehearsal for Peter Grimes, an opera in which I have a cover (opera-speak for understudy); on the 22nd there is an orchestra rehearsal for for Ainadamar, an opera in which I have a small part; early on the 23rd is a staging rehearsal for Ainadamar, and opening night of Peter Grimes is on the 23rd as well. Did you get all that?! So, while the director was extremely understanding, it was near to impossible for me to get out that weekend.

Add to all this the fact that my sister-in-law is pregnant and due – you guessed it – on July 22nd! All of a sudden, the stars were misaligned for the wedding to take place on that date. My saint of a mother came to the rescue, though, and found a new date which works for all the wedding vendors. She cleared this new idea with the groom, and THEN told my sister about the new plans! See, Sally didn’t know about any of these snags until they had all been resolved. She was in the middle of hell week at school, and my mom knew that it would put her over the edge!

Sally, to her credit, is excited about the new date (heck, she’s getting married six weeks earlier!) and so happy about all the good things that precipated the change. She and her fiancee will be here on Friday; I can’t wait to have a good laugh about it all over a Christmas cocktail.

Details of my Summer 2005 will be forthcoming…

A teaser

I have some news regarding the results of my auditions, but it's not quite ready for general knowledge. Hopefully by this weekend I'll have clearance to tell the world!

It's good, I'll tell you that much. Really good... =]

The Average Audition

Usually, the Average Audition goes something like this:

Singer walks in, exchanges greetings with the panel. Panel says, “What would you like to sing?” Singer tells them, and they say ok. First aria. If they would like to hear another, they look over the singer’s repertoire list and ask for the aria of their choice. Second aria. When it is finished, the Panel says, “Ok, thank you.” Singer says, “Oh no, thank YOU!” and leaves the room with a smile. End of audition.

Ok, so I was being a little silly at the end there, but you get the idea. Very cut and dried. I think I like it that way, too, after having two auditions go very differently this year. With the Average Audition, there are no comments or conversations to give you false hope that the Panel is going to hire you. You just walk in, do your best, and leave, forgetting about the audition until the offer – or rejection letter – comes in.

My first audition this season started out like an Average Audition. But I was on my way out the door when a member of the Panel said, “You’ll have to tell us about [an obscure opera that is on my Upcoming Performances list].” I stopped, of course, and I said some things and she said some things (all pertaining to the opera in question), and that was it. I see now, looking back, that that little exchange was probably all she had in mind. But at the time, I thought, “She said ‘you’ll have to tell us,’ which indicates a conversation in the future. That must mean she’s going to hire me!” Alas, a week later, I got the email. “It was a pleasure to hear your recent audition for the [our company]. I am sorry to inform you that you have not been chosen as a finalist for this year’s company.”

The second audition was a two-parter: a five minute initial audition and a fifteen minute callback. (A few more numbers here: 550 singers in the first round, 100 in the call backs, 25 spots. So, just getting a callback is a good start.) At the first audition, I sang a four-minute aria (O zittre nicht from Die Zauberflöte); at the end, a member of the Panel said, “Wow, pretty impressive for 11:00 in the morning!” I’d sung for these people before, and had a very Average Audition, so I knew this was unusual. That night I learned that I got a callback, so I went to sing for them again the next day. After my second aria (the Fire aria from L’Enfant et les Sortileges), the other member of the Panel said, “Well that’s it! Next time I do L’Enfant I’m hiring you to be my Fire!” This was extremely out of the ordinary! I left the audition in shock, practically certain I was in.

But it was not to be. Offers were made that weekend, and I didn’t get one.

I’m a pretty realistic person when it comes to auditions. I know the game. But when you sing well and there is conversation, you start to hope. You start to think that you have made an impression, have managed to stand out from the crowd. And the thing is, you have. It’s just that the crowd is large enough that several other coloratura sopranos will make an impression and stand out, too. And they only need one of you.

Last week I was back in New York for a few more auditions. All of them were delightfully Average: no conversation, no compliments. Just a friendly “Thank you!” I think I like it better that way. Now the waiting begins. I’ll keep you posted.

Happy Thanksgiving

This has been my favorite holiday for a while now. What a great idea: get together with friends and family, have a wonderful feast – to which, ideally, everyone contributes – and take a day to notice how lucky you are. Not mention watching football and having permission to drink wine at noon!

This year, I am thankful for (in no particular order):

My loving and supportive husband
A marriage that is growing in strength and beauty
Good health (and the fact that I’m still the size I was in high school!)
An incredibly anchoring network of friends here in Seattle
My family, who, even though we’re spread across the country, love each other fiercely
My adorable dog!
Mamma Pabor’s Squash Casserole
A home that we own and can fix up (or tear down) at will
The fact that I sing for a livng! And am singing well.
That I am surrounded by beautiful music, and learning of more every day.
My piano students, who keep me excited about learning.
That Christmas is coming!!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I hope you, too, will be surrounded with love. And good food!

'Tis the season

Audition season, that is. I was in New York City last week for a few auditions, and I’ll head back next week for a few more. Not as many as I would like – only seven in all – but, from what I gather, everyone is getting fewer auditions this year. Several factors at play here, I think. One, the ridiculous number of singers competing for a limited number of jobs. More on that in a minute. Another, smaller opera companies who used to fly to NYC once a year to hear the cream of the crop are now staying at home and auditioning locally. This saves them a lot of money: no trip to NYC and no expensive NYC singers! While that is a gross generalization, the premise seems to be sound. There are plenty of good, even great, singers all over the country now.

Which is why it’s so hard to get an audition! For example, one company I sang for heard about 500 singers this fall. For 23 spots in their training program! That’s a lot of hopefuls – and a lot of disappointed singers. But this company can afford to hear everyone, whereas a smaller company that gets 500 applications for auditions can maybe only hear about 150 singers. Those singers not granted an audition are disappointed in a different way; they didn’t even get a shot to show their stuff.

Here are some other interesting statistics, courtesy of Kim Pensinger Witman, Director of Wolf Trap Opera Company. She kept an extremely informative blog during WTOC’s audition process. Again, more on that in a minute. They heard 345 singers in 12 days in 7 cities (for 8-10 spots in the company). Here is the breakdown by voice category: 20 basses, 60 baritones, 49 tenors, 3 countertenors, 65 mezzo-sopranos, and – get this – 148 sopranos! This year I moved from garden-variety-lyric soprano to the more showy coloratura variety (probably one third of the sopranos are coloraturas), so I was in a smaller subgroup. But still. 148 sopranos!! That’s a lot.

Out of the three auditions I did last week, I have already received rejections from two. Not surprising, given the numbers, but disappointing nonetheless. I know I’m singing well, though (my accompanist told me at one point “You’re going to make a lot of money singing [the Queen of the Night.]), so, hopefully, it’s only a matter of time. And numbers…

Oops...

My new friend and online-journal-master , just linked to my blog! Guess I need to update… Stay tuned, there has been a lot going on – hence no time to post! I’ll see what I can do in this holiday week between audition trips to New York…

KD

I’ve had a bunch of cool things running through my head to post about in the past few days, but, as is often the case these days, I got too busy doing other “important stuff” and didn’t take the time to sit down and put my thoughts into words. Rather than do another “highlights” type entry about my music, I’m going to tell you about our new dog!

KD came to us from a shelter in Kennewick. (For you readers who are not in Washington, Kennewick is about four hours east of Seattle, over the Cascade Mountains.) I found her picture and description on Petfinder.org, and she seemed to be just what we were looking for – a smallish terrier mix who is good with people and other dogs. (The listing also said she was good with cats, which is NOT true!) So we thought it was worth the trip to Eastern Washington to pick her up and add her to our family.

KD’s original name was “Flossie,” which we both thought was a little silly. So on the way home, we talked through some other possibilities. Since she came from Kennewick, we decided on “Kennewick Dog,” after the famous Kennewick Man, calling her KD for short. Sounds like “Katie,” so our geekiness is only revealed upon further inspection… She likes it, too, we think. A little more mature than Flossie. A little.

She has been such a good dog, feeling right at home with us. She is very territorial, which I always thought meant that a dog protected the home. You know, the “territory.” But, in fact, it means barking at anyone that comes near us while we’re on our walks, as if to say, “Don’t hurt this person! She feeds me and I love her!” We’re working on the barking, although I usually seem to be more bothered by it than the passers-by. She’s really not very threatening…

KD loves her new dog friends – Spackle, Jessie, and Uncle Loper. She’s the smallest of the bunch, but can out run and out play these kids anyday. Loves to be outside, loves to chew on her rawhide sticks (Jessie had to teach her what to do with them at first!), and LOVES to greet her people when they come home, even if they were only gone for ten minutes. She makes us happy every day, and we can’t imagine not having her here.

A gift

I finished up a nine-show run with the Pacific Northwest Ballet this weekend. What a wonderful experience! I am sorry to see Kent Stowell and Francia Russell leaving the company, as they have fostered a sense of well-being and caring in a business that is often nastier than opera. (I saw this first hand as a child in a couple professional ballet children’s corps; it’s what made me decide not to dance anymore.) Everyone at the ballet – dancers, administrators, crew – was friendly and warm. Businesslike, to be sure, but it was a good place to work.

A couple cases in point: Dancing being such a physical activity (understatement!), they have a resident physical therapist. Well, after a hellish day on Saturday, dealing with horrendous traffic, two performances and a rehearsal for another show in between, my neck and shoulders were a mess of knots by the evening. And even though I was a guest artist, – and NOT a dancer! – Boyd, the PT, worked on my shoulders for about 15 minutes. It’s amazing what a professional can accomplish in 15 minutes… During the massage, I asked him about how he cares for his dancers’ joints, since mine have been acting up a bit lately. After I’d gotten into costume, I went back to ask him about my ankle, which was hurting (prompting the original question). And he fixed it! Felt around for the tiny joint that was out of whack, showed me on my other foot how it was supposed to work, then CRACK! it was better. So cool… What a great perk of working at the Ballet!

Then after my final performance on Sunday, I was met on my way out of the backstage area by one of the technical crew members with whom I had been exchanging pleasantries over the past two weeks. I think his name is Michael. He handed me a small gift bag and said, “Here is a little something to thank you for your singing. I have really enjoyed it, and every night we all stand back here and watch and listen. You are wonderful” Wow! I was so touched. The card inside said that the CD (Ray Charles’ final, the duets CD) was from “Stage Right Tech,” not just from him, and I’m sorry that I didn’t get to thank them all individually. What a great way to end a great run of shows with a great company. I hope the new director will continue to develop the warmth and caring that most certainly contributes to the greatness of the company’s work on stage.

Highlights of the past six weeks

Life:

• Got a dog! I finally wheedled Erik down and he let me look for a dog. We wanted something small-ish, smart, good with people and other dogs, and about a year old. And we found her! We’ve named her KD, short for Kennewick Dog (like the famed and much disputed Kennewick Man, but a dog. And not a fossil.), since we got her from a shelter in Kennewick. She is smart as a whip and so loving. I think she’s as happy to have us as we are to have her. I’m sure her antics will make appearances here from time to time…
  
• Readjusting to life at home after life away was easier this time around. Most things are easier the second time, so that’s part of it. But Erik and I both learned a lot about how to keep connected – to each other and to our lives – while we’re apart. All you military folks should be able to relate; I realized this summer that I was on TDY! But I’m home now, and only have a few weekend or weeklong trips planned this coming season.

Music:

• Two days after I got home I was right back to work, singing in a recording session at Benaroya. Movie and video game production companies often come up to Seattle to record soundtracks, samplers, and movie trailers, because our union is cheaper. It’s still great money, and a nice way to meet a bunch of singers. That was almost a month ago, and I had forgotten about the paycheck – until it showed up in my mailbox yesterday! A nice surprise.
  
• I took a big chance with a regional audition, and it paid off. A new regional company, Skagit Opera, is doing The Magic Flute in the spring. I saw this as the perfect opportunity to try out the Queen of the Night arias, which my teacher encouraged me to learn. Talk about a died-in-the-wool coloratura role! So I worked on them for three weeks, went into the audition with the panel aware of my greenness, and sang my heart out. Well, I got the part! I took it as a sign that my voice is truly fit for coloratura roles if I could pull that off. It’s given me a boost going into this year’s audition season.
  
• I’m in the middle of a two week run of performances with Pacific Northwest Ballet. I have a small singing part in their production of Romeo & Juliet; I’m a Gypsy Singer at the Capulet party. It’s been wonderful to be around dancers again; my early days in ballet were the starting point for my life in the arts. And, from the Small World Department, the assistant conductor at PNB used to conduct at the Chicago City Ballet. Twenty years ago he conducted a Cinderella, in which Yours Truly danced in the children’s chorus! (I was a little bug in the garden scene; I couldn’t wear my glasses on stage, so my memory is rather blurry, but I think I remember some of the choreography!)
  
• Had an exciting offer to go to Kiev, Ukraine, to participate in a new music recording project. Through Tanglewood connections, I was recommended to the composer for his work for Soprano and Orchestra. It would have been an incredible project, but my performances with PNB conflicted with the rehearsal schedule. But how cool that I’m getting offers like that!

So, that’s what’s what. Let me know if you’re still reading this! Time to practice…

The Entry

As you can see, it’s been six weeks since I posted last. In that time, I spent a last wonderful week at Tanglewood, returned home to a happy husband and a rainy city, jumped with both feet back into life as a freelance singer in Seattle, gotten a dog, and – this is the big one – experienced that moment dreaded by bloggers everywhere: the loss of the perfect blog entry.

My blogging mentor-of-sorts, Chiara, told me that every person who blogs long enough experiences this, that every blog she has read has an entry like the one you are reading now. You can imagine: you spend an hour or so putting your thoughts “on paper” (as it were), taking the time to really get everything right, so your reader will understand exactly how you feel (in this case, my joy at being home and my thoughts an another Tanglewood summer). Then, you click on the “Post” icon and… gone. Blogger has claimed another witty, perfect entry.

I’ve been encouraged now, by people who know these things, to write all my entries in Microsoft Word, then copy and paste them into the Blogger form. I did this all summer when I didn’t have internet at my disposal, and never lost an entry; I should have stuck with what was working.

I don’t really know who is still reading this, but I’m going to try to get back in the habit of posting. Even if the blog stays mostly in the “here’s what’s going on in my music career” vein, I think there will be some interesting things to write about this coming year.

I’ll keep you posted…