Saturday, October 07, 2006


I had what I guess you would call an anxiety dream last night, probably fueled by the martini I had after posting that last post…

I was about to go onstage to sing Gilda (guess I won the audition yesterday!) when I realized something. I turned to my Rigoletto with panic in my eyes and said: “I forgot to learn the rest of the role!!”

Oh, and I just remembered another dream! JB, a soprano who is in the Met’s Lindemann Young Artist Program and will be singing a role in Suor Angelica with me, came to pick me up (in a car, no less, even though I’m 15 blocks from Lincoln Center) for the first rehearsal. It was like I had never done anything like it before, because I said: “So, is this a staging rehearsal? Should I be memorized?” Um, yes. JB looked a little suprised, a little worried, a little like she wouldn't be sitting with me on the breaks... :)

Not only was I not memorized, I had planned on sight-reading at the rehearsal! It’s a “small part,” after all. I was frantically flipping through my score, looking for my part. I laughed and said, “I can’t even find my part in here; that’s not a good sign!”

Wow. Think I’m nervous about all the music I have to learn this year?


Patty said...

Hah! I sort of love these nightmarish music dreams we have. They are just so bizarre and, of course, not anything that would ever happen!

Funny thing is that my mother dreams of having to go on for me. She, who has never touched an oboe.

As always, I love your blog. What fun to hear about all that you are doing. I'd be envious, but I'm too old for envy. ;-)

operadaddy said...

I am constantly having dreams that I missed a few pages of music in the score and I am frantically trying to learn it five minutes before curtain. Yikes. Too much music indeed.

Sorry to hear about the NYC lonlies. I hope that it's fleeting.


Ariadne said...

Those *are* scary dreams! This is a big transition time for you, and there is much more pressure to perform, to be totally ready, it's really no wonder.

ACB, what do you do for yourself personally and as a professional, to counteract those types of dreams and fears?

(ps Has anyone else done a role where others said you knew the role but you personally so totally didn't trust it, so badly that it felt like you were actually living that nightmare? I did, once.)

Gregory said...


What a mess! Dream #1 is classic manprano. "What, you mean there's more to this role than my none minute audition aria?" $&^@(!

Thank you for posting personally. Doesn't seem like you invaded anyone's space and you let us all in a little more. Mille grazie.

Take care love. It is my opinion that no matter how many people you have with you on the road, life itself is a lonely journey. Just share what you can. You seem to be doing that very well.

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