Friday, October 06, 2006

Nice and Tough

Nice: Coming home to find my roommate scrubbing the kitchen floor. On his hands and knees, even! Our ancient tiles are now substantially less dingy, and the kitchen smells delightfully of Mop-n-Glo.

Tough: Haven’t seen any for a few days, but we have pests. Yes, “life in the big city” and all that, but… yuck. If the little four-legged one shows its face again, we’re borrowing a cat.

Nice: Stopping by the Post Office to pick up a mysterious package, only to get home and find it contains FIVE Kronos Quartet cds! I confessed to a friend recently (someone in “the business”) that I had never listened to any of their work, and he said he would get me started. Current listening: Osvaldo’s Dreams & Prayers of Isaac the Blind. Thank you, friend.

Tough: Running out of disc space on my computer. Time for an external hard drive! (I'd rather spend the money on that fabulous purple dress in the window of Neda, but I suppose that can wait...)

Nice: A good audition (“Caro nome” and Baby Doe’s Silver Aria are actually a great audition pairing…) with hair that cooperated (mostly), and an afternoon spent delving through music for the spring recital project that I keep saying I’m going to write about but never do. Someday. It’s almost time to announce it in the concert series, so I might as well fill you all in on the program explorations.

Tough: Hearing that Erik, my ex-husband, fell off of a climbing wall Tuesday night. Fell 15-ft, onto his straight legs, which jammed up his back something fierce. He is recovering well, thanks to drug cocktails and days off of work, and friends rallying to care for him with dinners and taking care of the dog. He’ll be with his girlfriend this weekend, too, so I know he’s in good hands… But I still worry.

Nice: A weekend full of plans for drinks with friends, seeing my roommate’s concert, and brunch with more friends. Hopefully some yoga and some practicing to round it all out. I might even cook, finally.

Tough: Understanding what people mean when they say that NYC is the loneliest city in the world. I know I’ve only been here a month, but right now it stinks. Literally. I miss my dog, I miss having space around me, I miss nights with collaborative dinners and board games, I miss the fireplace.

I love my new city and my new life, but this time of transition is hard. I’m starting over with a clean slate, and sometimes I don’t know what to make of it. It all feels very “personal,” and I don’t write about that much here, but I thought I would a little. If only to refute the people who think my life is a rose-filled parade all the time (and I know you’re out there). You can know no one’s life but your own, and even that is harder than it seems. Remember what happens when we assume?

I’m going to post this. I might take it down or edit it tomorrow morning, after a good night’s sleep. But for now I’ll post it. Smudge the image a little bit…

4 comments:

Melissa said...

sending hugs... :)

love and miss you, sweetie.

xoxoxo

Sarah said...

I think it's great that you're being so open in your posting. I had a couple of recent posts like that, and it's scary but rewarding to put it out there. It makes you feel brave to reveal something so personal.

There's nothing wrong with being in a new stage of your life and feeling some growing pains. So much is changing for you right now that it's to be expected. And it's nice that you let your readers know that you're human instead of SuperSoprano.

Ariadne said...

I used to think that! (wink)

((((Sweet ACB))))

sogalitno said...

hang in there!

yes nyc is a very isolating town - i think its why a lot of folks move there - especially if you grew up where 'everyone' knew you. (that was my case) but then at some point you wish that you had those roots of folks who knew you for more than a few nano seconds.

well, you have colleagues here (i moved here knowing four people and one moved away shortly after) and you have your blog and email.

you will be making more friends as time goes by - and remember, its not true, you can go home again(just make it short visits!)

hair cut looks great!

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