Met Debut Weekend: The Performance

(Part 2 of 3... so far!)

Friday… Rehearsal with my pianist for Saturday’s OSNY Finals (I won’t keep you in suspense and say now that I didn’t place, but am very happy with how it went.); she had some wonderful advice to get me through a tough spot in the Bach, and we talked about how to negotiate the transition between these two very disparate pieces.

Home to rest a bit and collect my things for opening night:
* a light robe to wear while getting my makeup down and to wear over my costume if I need to eat
* my dressing room kit with toothbrush and paste, wig cap and pins, cough drops, mints, basic “street” makeup to put on after washing off the heavy stage stuff, Dove cloths with which to wash said heavy stage stuff, and other little things;
* cards and gifts (most of these are still unwritten… maybe they’ll be Closing Night gifts!)
* and, of course, the dress and shoes for the party afterwards!

The Artists’ Area was humming with excitement (and a bit of controlled frenzy), so I dropped off my few written cards and then settled into my dressing room (which I share with LW and PR, who is singing roles in Angelica and Schicchi) to do my pin-curls. S started on my makeup, when one of those moments you dream about happened. The door opened, and the gentleman from the stage door, who had been delivering cards and gifts to all the dressing rooms, came through with a huge, gorgeous bouquet of roses… and came to set them at my station! I said, “Are those really for me?!” Indeed they were, and they thrilled me just as much as the lovely bottle of champagne from Mo. Levine! (Whom they were from is my own secret for now…)

Visits in the dressing room from Met staffers JF and JM, checking in to say “toi toi” and happy debut and to see if I needed anything! A pinch, maybe?! The excitement settled a into realization of the magnitude of the moment when JF asked me to sign several copies of the playbill; most of the rest of the cast had signed already, and seeing not just my name but my signature among theirs’ was humbling.

Into costume, and at the call of 8 minutes until curtain, my YLT and I headed up to our bridge to walk through our blocking on last time. We settled in at the center of the bridge, and I held on to Tony for dear life! Not out of fear of the height this time, but because in seconds, the curtain was going to go up and we would be on our way!

And so we did. Tony and I hit all our “marks,” stayed in the light, stayed in tempo, and then, just like that – we were done. Next, what I didn’t get to do at the dress rehearsal: take a bow. Oh man… Can you say deer in the headlights?! I’m afraid I gave an ugly, ungraceful bow, because all I could think about was where I was!! I think I did much better at the second show last night…

Time to shift gears, wash my face and trade my red dress for a habit. LW and I dressed in our matching costumes, and when I reached into the bag with my name on it to get my cross, I noticed that it was gone. Figuring she just grabbed the wrong necklace, I said, “Hey, LW, you’ve got my cross, but since they’re the same, I’ll just wear yours.” No problem. But then I noticed her clothes piled in the bottom of “my” costume rack (where our clothes get hung changes every night, so it can get a little confusing in there…). I took a look at her, and noticed that her habit was longer than usual, so long, in fact, that it was rather puddled at her feet. I looked at mine, and realized I had a high-water habit. Yep, we’d put on each others’ costume!

With about ten minutes until the call to places, we did a quick switcheroo with our dresser’s help, laughing all the while and saying what a great story this would make for the Sirius interview! (Of course, we totally forgot it once we were there!)

It worked out really beautifully that I got my debut good wishes and “toi toi’s” for Tabarro, so that when Angelica came around, it got to be all about LW. Her first step onstage, her first bow. We shared this debut, but we each got our Moment.

Met Debut Weekend: Leading Up

(Part 1 of 3... so far!)

My little hobbit-hole is too stuffy to sit in on a day like this, so I’ve come down to the Naked City Café, where they have Die Zauberflöte playing over the speakers. (Aha: it’s not just the opera – it’s Met Radio on Sirius! A nice synchronicity!)

Ok, let’s go all the way back… The days leading up to Friday night were rather tumultuous, Wednesday being a really rough day and Thursday being a beautiful one. So, I was already a bit stirred up before Friday night; in fact, I had lunch with a friend Friday afternoon, and he said, “I can see your head spinning.” Yep, that was about it!

We’ll leave Wednesday for now, and get to the good stuff on Thursday:
* a wonderfully grounding and joyful brunch with JD and LB, my girls – we all had things to celebrate
* a text from MP asking if I’d like to be interviewed on Sirius Met Radio at second intermission on Friday - along with LW, my fellow debutante – about our debut… um, YES!
* my first visit to “the other Met” and a new friend (and by the time we walked out of the museum spring had arrived in NYC!)
* shopping for opening night cards at an art store filled with too many beautiful things
* requests from two publications (one in NY; one in Portland, OR) for interviews, each on a different facet of my career
* and then, when the day couldn’t really get any better, a voice message: “ACB, it’s your manager. I have an offer for you… call me!”

Offers are always good news, of course, and when I learned what it was, I let out a “YES!” right there on the corner of 57th & 7th. Haven’t signed the contract yet, so I can’t say when and where, but it’s something in Italian – finally! – and is one of the first roles I fell in love with but wasn’t sure I’d ever get a chance to do. It’s a big role (one of the biggest for soprano) at a nice-sized house – not too big, not too small; great place to try it on for what will hopefully be the first time. Very exciting news to get the day before another big debut!

I can’t remember what I did for dinner on Thursday, but I know that I met a friend for a nightcap, which probably helped me fall asleep quickly and sleep peacefully. I woke up, and it was Friday!

FriPod on Tuesday: Random 10

This week’s look at the music library, via Musical Perceptions: the first ten listings on the Party Shuffle, pulling from the main library.

1. “Flamenco Sketches,” Miles Davis, Kind of Blue - 1997
2. “One of Us,” ABBA, Gold - 1995
3. “Should,” Over the Rhine, Eve – 1994-96
4. “You Remind Me of Home,” Ben Gibbard, Home, Vol. 5 - 2007
5. “Long Line of Pain,” Amos Lee, Supply and Demand - 2006
6. “Poison,” David Byrne, The Catherine Wheel - 1996
7. “Radio War,” Iron & Wine, Our Endless Numbered Days - 2005
8. “Hey, That’s No Way to Say Goodbye,” Leonard Cohen, The Best Of - 1998
9. “Miss Sarajevo,” Luciano Pavarotti, Bono, Pavorotti & Friends Together for the Children of Bosnia - 1996
10. “Bullet Proof…I Wish I Was,” Radiohead, The Bends - 2005

iTunes has gotten me back in touch with so many cds that I hadn’t looked at in years! To have something like “Miss Sarajevo” - which I haven’t listened to since, oh, 1996 - come up in my shuffle is like a little present! A litte trip back in time to when the song or cd was in constant rotation on my boom box… To that end, I’ve added a year to most of the above songs, indicating when it fit into the soundtrack of my life.

I’m off to the café to finally write about my weekend! I imagine I’ll write out EVERYthing, then edit it a bit before posting here. ‘Cuz there’s a lot… I don’t feel like my head stopped spinning until yesterday…

Thanks, everyone!

Last night was truly wonderful. You warm thoughts and good wishes meant more to me that you can know, so thank you!!

Off to Carnegie now, not really "feelin' it," but I'm kind of treating today like gravy. Know what I mean? Last night was a once in a lifetime evening (the radio interview was so fun! sorry I couldn't announce it here...), and today I get to sing more beautiful music with great colleagues - in what just happens to be a competition. Meh. I've already been awarded a small prize for being a Finalist, and that is enough for me at this point.

Happy Saturday, all, and happy First Day of Spring, New Yorkers!! It's finally here!

Joy, continued

Today was the final dress! It’s all over but the cryin’, I suppose, which, now that I think about it, is a very strange expression… Hopefully there will be no crying due to falling off bridges or losing my place with the Maestro or stepping in donkey-doo. Only tears of joy!

(Warning: I’ve had a nap and am now a bit loopy…)

We had almost a full house for the dress today, and boy, was it great! I start the show on the bridge with my back to the audience, but out of the corner of my eye I can see the big red curtain go up (I found myself wondering today if that is electric these days, or if there is still someone in the wings pulling the ropes hand-over-hand), revealing the audience to us and the beautiful set to them. There was applause today for almost every set change of this gorgeous new production.

Little silent opening scene on the bridge, offstage singing, then the “goodbye” scene on the bridge. I wasn’t a bit nervous, didn’t feel the heights at all, stayed connected with the pit and with my YLT, got all the bits with the kissing and the coat, but! as soon as I started going down the stairs, leading me off into the Stage Right wings, my knees started to shake! I have to walk down a ladder (out of sightlines) to get all the way down to floor level, and I was very grateful for the stagehand who was there to steady me. I’m sure Friday’s shakes will be worse, but in a good way; I wonder if they’ll ever go away completely…

To get back to the Artists’ Area from Stage Right, I have to cross through a big open space upstage of the playing area. (This is one of the places the crew will stash the set from Tabarro when they switch to Angelica, and Angelica when they switch to Schicchi, so it doesn’t stay “open” for long.) All alone in my red dress, backstage in this amazing theater, after singing beautiful music with wonderful colleagues, I will confess that I did a little twirl of joy.

FriPod: a few days late

I’ve been loving Scott Spiegelberg’s weekly “FriPod” posts, in which he comes up with a theme of sorts and then makes a playlist from his iTunes library. I asked if I could appropriate the idea as a meme of sorts, and he agreed, so here is my first “FriPod!” Whether or not I include commentary will depend on how much time I have, which tonight is not much…

This week’s theme was “The Four Emotions.” (A play upon “The Four Seasons,” perhaps? Since there are obviously more than four…) Here are mine:

1. “The Happy Birthday Song,” Andrew Bird, The Mysterious Production of Eggs
2. “She’s only happy in the sun,” Ben Harper, Diamonds on the Inside
3. “Happy, The End,” The Innocence Mission, Glow
4. “Make Someone Happy,” Comden and Green, performed by Jimmy Durante on the Sleepless in Seattle soundtrack
5. “Happy With Myself?” Over the Rhine, Eve
6. “Happy Phantom,” Tori Amos, Little Earthquakes
7. “Why do I Feel So Sad,” Alicia Keys, Songs in A Minor
8. “Sad Songs and Waltzes,” Cake, Fashion Nugget
9. “My Lonely Sad Eyes,” Maria McKee, You Gotta Sin to Get Saved
10. “Love and Anger,” Kate Bush, The Sensual World
11. “Atoms for Peace,” Thom Yorke, Eraser
12. “Love and Peace or Else,” U2, How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
13. “All Good Naysayers, Speak Up or Forever Hold Your Peace,” Sufjan Stevens (who else would have a title that long?!), Greetings From Michigan: The Great Lakes State
14. “Oh, Lead Me to some Peaceful Gloom,” from Purcell’s Bonduca, sung by Sylvia McNair on The Echoing Air

I’m happy to have more “happy” songs than “sad,” and I had to search for that “anger” song. SS used “angry,” and I didn’t have any songs with that word in the title. One classical selection, one jazz standard, and lots of indie rock. Seems about right… I wonder if I searched for these words in Italian, German, or French, what I’d come up with? Maybe tomorrow…

(Upon further consideration, I’m afraid this exercise might, over time, display how woefully under stocked my music library is! Maybe some new purchases will be in order, as holes are made obvious…)

Two for one

More on that analogy – I’ve been meaning to expound on the “vomit breath” analogy, and a recent comment to the post has given me impetus to do so. I had a voice lesson shortly after the coaching which presented the analogy, and I asked Mark what his thoughts were on the concept.

His thought is that there can (and often should) be both an “in and up” and a “down and out” feeling in the abdominal area, as if the two are working “against” each other. You know that force you feel when you push two positive or two negative magnetic poles together? The feeling in the abdomen isn’t one of resisting, exactly, but more like stability. Ideally what you’ll create with this idea is a solid foundation for the column of air, with an occasional boost from an “up” or “down” support for various attacks, approaches, or articulations.

Ok, did that make any sense at all?! (By the way, this “magnet” image is mine, building on what Mark has taught me about support. Don’t call him up and say “I’d like to have a lesson and focus on magnet support;” he’ll probably have no idea what you’re talking about!) Sorry if this isn’t terribly clear; I’m still learning how to put these esoteric vocal technique concepts into words.

As for the commentor’s suggestion that a vomitous analogy “ignores the Art of communicating musically to your audience,” I’m not sure I agree. Singers have to think of all kinds of strange things in order to get our voices to “be musical.” How is an analogy like “pear-shaped tones” any more musical than vomit or magnets? It’s just prettier. The audience doesn’t need to know what goes on in our heads while we sing, so long as the desired result (a well-sung, emotion-filled phrase that touches them) is achieved.

Other thoughts?

OSNY Finals - On Saturday I sang in the Oratorio Society of New York Solo Competition Semi-Finals, and was pleased to learn that I’ll be singing in the Finals! And guess when they are? This Saturday. Yep, the afternoon after my Met debut.

So… I’ll be making a very short appearance (accompanied by the Brooklyn Birds and wearing the beautiful dress) at the Opening Night reception and then heading home to bed. I toyed (very briefly) with the idea of not going to the reception, but while I hope there will be other Opening Nights at the Met, I will only have one debut! Regardless of whether I attend the party or not, it’s going to be really hard to come down and get rested enough to sing well at a 1:30pm concert. A challenge…

One thing I’m very excited about for the Finals is that they have asked me to sing “Lua descolorida,” the gorgeous aria from Osvaldo’s Pasion segun San Marcos. I didn’t sing it in the preliminary round, but wanted to make sure they heard it at some point, so I started with it yesterday. When I announced my selection, I’m pretty sure I heard one of the judges say “Good for you.” After the Golijov, they asked for my Bach aria: “Jauchzet Gott” from Cantata 51. I suspected that they would, as it’s just about as different from the Golijov as you can get! I’ll be singing that on Saturday as well.

The Finals Concert is open to the public (information about tickets here), so if you’re in NYC and free on Saturday, come on out! It’s as Weill Recital Hall at Carnegie, so I guess one could say that I’m making my Met debut and my Carnegie Hall debut in the same weekend. How ‘bout that… deep breath, Bird!

Edited to add: I took a closer look at that link for tickets, and it really doesn’t say much. Tickets will be on sale ($20) at 12:30 on the day of the concert, April 21st, at the Weill box office. The concert begins at 1:30, and I’ll be second on the program.

Putting it together

Stuffed into my tiny New York-style mailbox Saturday was a big white envelope. I muttered grumpily to myself while trying to wrench it out without ripping it in half (Does she speak from experience, you wonder? Don’t ask…), only to have my grumpiness turn to joy when it was finally in my hands in one piece: It was from Fractured Atlas!

“Congratulations! You have been approved by our Board of Directors to become a fiscally sponsored project of Fractured Atlas!”

Ok, we are on! The Bhakti Project is now “open for business,” so to speak, although plenty of business is already underway. I’m talking with a designer for the logo; I have a meeting next week with someone who works in arts development (and got an email yesterday from a grad school friend who is doing similar work) to talk about the project and get some advice; I’m going to get some new publicity shots / headshots taken, hopefully in the next week or so (need a haircut first); we’ve done some exploring of recital reception/after-party locations; and of course musical preparation continues on a pace. But with fiscal sponsorship in place, it’s time to turn in earnest to fund-raising.

I need to write a fund-raising letter, and then send it out to anyone who I think will give it even a passing glance! I’ll post a copy of it here, when it’s done (by the end of the week, hopefully). For now, check out the new links under the Bhakti Project heading on the sidebar. You’ll find a link to the Fractured Atlas homepage and a link directly to the Bhakti Project donation site. Since this announcement of sponsorship could be seen as a fundraising effort even before I post my letter, I’d better post the “official language” from the FA sponsorship packet, designed to make sure everyone involved keeps the IRS happy!

“The Bhakti Project is a sponsored project of Fractured Atlas, a non-profit arts service organization. Contributions in behalf on The Bhakti Project may be made payable to Fractured Atlas and are tax deductible to the extent permitted by law.”

Cool, huh?! I kind of can’t believe that this project is actually off the ground. I’ve often been more of a talker than a doer; “wouldn’t it be cool if…?” But here it is, an idea I had a couple of years ago that now, with the help of friends and colleagues and, hopefully, even strangers, is taking off. Cool, indeed.

Spread the word, will you? If you think the readers of your blog would be interested in getting involved, please feel free to link to these posts or directly to Fractured Atlas. If this is to be the first piece of music commissioned and payed for through the blogosphere, I’m going to need your help!

**Edited to add: We already have our first donation! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, SK in Atlanta!!**

Living close to work

The problem with living so close to the Met? I think it only takes me two minutes to get there and I procrastinate like crazy every morning!!

I was so late this morning. I wasn’t the only one, but that was of little consolation, ‘cuz I HATE being late!! I felt awful that my makeup guy (whose two sisters are named Anne and Carolyn!) had to rush, even though we had “plenty of time but not time to waste.” ™ (that’s a Bird Family trademarked phrase, used with permission.) The costumer couldn’t make her adjustments ‘cuz I needed to run as soon as I got into my (beautiful!) dress. And I was a frazzled mess. In short, not how I want to go into any rehearsal, let alone my first rehearsal with the Met orchestra.

All in all, though, things were great today. YLT and I are working out our moves way up on the bridge, trying to coordinate kisses and coats and stairs all while straining to hear the orchestra and see the Maestro. I know we’ll get it; it’ll just take some repetition, but at one point today I felt like I didn’t have a clue what I was doing!! A common feeling at first dress rehearsals but still a bit unsettling. Time for some visualizing, me thinks… We do it again on Friday and Monday before Tuesday’s final dress rehearsal, then a few days off, and then – showtime!

Costumes and orchestra for Angelica tomorrow, a rehearsal for which I will be arriving EARLY.

Fractured Atlas Bhakti Project Profile

(There are live links over to your left! More soon on that, once I get text approved for posting on the blog. For now, here is the Sponsorship Profile from the Fractured Atlas website; most of this you know, but here it is in a succinct snapshot, suitable for framing... I mean, for sharing with your friends, readers, colleagues, and other interested parties!)

The Bhakti Project is a collaboration between composer Judd Greenstein, pianist Jocelyn Dueck, and soprano Anne-Carolyn Bird. The three were Fellows at the Tanglewood Music Center in 2004, and shortly thereafter, Ms. Bird and Mr. Greenstein started talking about collaborating on a new work.

What formed over the next two years was a three-fold project:

1) Commissioning Mr. Greenstein to write a new work for soprano and piano, to be premiered by Ms. Bird and Ms. Dueck. Working together with Ms. Bird, Mr. Greenstein decided that texts for the songs will be taken from the Zohar, a central book of Kabbalah, the mystic arm of Judaism.

2) Presenting the work as part of a recital program. The title of the program – “I have some light: Songs of Spirit”– reflects the theme, which is the relationship one seeks with the Divine. Religions and spiritual paths from around the world are represented on the program, which will include works by Rachmaninoff, Messiaen, Dallapiccola, Harbison, and Barber, as well as Greenstein’s premiere and various genres of American music (folk, musical theatre, cabaret).

This recital program will have its premiere performance in May 2007 and will be presented several times in the 07-08 season.

3) The commercial recording of the new work and selections from the recital program. New Amsterdam Records, founded by Mr. Greenstein, has expressed interest in releasing the recording.

The titles of both the Bhakti Project and of the recital borrow from lines in John Harbison’s Mirabai Songs, which tell of one woman’s devotion (bhakti) to Krishna, her incarnation of Divinity. The recital explores an individuals’ devotion to his or her spiritual path, and this project explores and supports my devotion to bringing new music to life. I hope to encourage others to join me in that devotion!

Trittico: Picture Pages!

I work here!Something I never thought I'd see:

What is it they say about the first step of any journey being the hardest?
**Photo removed**
That is definitely true of this bridge! I did ok today, after a shaky first half hour or so. My YLT is very dependable and sure, and he makes me feel very safe! We're having a wonderful time, playing on our bridge and making up all kinds of backstory for our characters - anything to keep my mind off of the pounding heart, sweaty hands, and shaky knees!

That's Maestro Levine, way way way down there!
**Photo removed**
Oddly enough (or not odd at all), I don't have any fear when I'm looking down at him while singing. He, the conductor, exists in a different world, almost, from my fear of heights. As does my character, and my YLT, and, I suppose, the bridge itself. Through "the magic of theater," my fear can disappear when I'm up there, if I give my self over to it (the magic, not the fear).

I'll play around with that idea tomorrow... Also tomorrow, I'll get a picture of Gabriel, the sweet Met donkey! (Sans poop, hopefully.)

**UPDATE 4/10** Sorry, guys, but I had to take down the two pics I took from stage. (I should have checked the rules first!) So, you'll have to use your imagination and take my word for the fact that the bridge is very, VERY high and the Mo. Levine looks very, VERY small from my vantage point! Today's rehearsal was much easier, but I still had a few leaps o' the heart. Tomorrow - costumes, wigs, makeup... and orchestra!!

Winging it

Nothing like showing up to the Tabarro musical rehearsal on Saturday and discovering an entire page of music (ok, only five measures) that I’d never seen before! Sight-reading for Mo. Levine – awesome!

It was really not bad at all; the music staff was very helpful. We quickly ran to the library and got me a part score, then headed to P’s studio to run through it once or twice. But I think I’ve said here before that I only really get nervous when I’m unprepared, and this definitely counted as unprepared!! Shaky hands and sweaty palms when I sat down after singing my few bars, absolutely.

(How did this happen, you ask? Turns out there is a line for “Soprano/Tenor Interno,” sung offstage, earlier in the opera. Since I only had a part score for the “Young Lovers” and am unfamiliar with the opera, I knew nothing about it; the library didn’t know that the two parts were to be sung by the same people, since only the YL parts are credited on the program. Easy mistake to make, easy to let something like this slip through the cracks. And since we didn’t coach or rehearse these parts until the whole show was put together, we only discovered it on Saturday.)

The Suor run-through on Friday went very well, too. It is such a moving piece; I really had no idea. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room when we finished. Bring your hankies to the movies!

The donkey (yes, Sarah, a “for real” donkey!) was adorable, and – of course – pooped onstage. “Welcome to the Met!” I didn’t get a picture, but I promise I will this week. (Of the donkey, not the poop.) We’re onstage every morning this week, and in fact, I’m about to head out now to meet my destiny with the Tabarro bridge… Wish me luck!!

Song of the Lark, quotes

I finally finished this wonderful book, and I can’t begin to collect my thoughts about it, about what it means to me and what it suggests to me of my life. So rather than try, here are some passages from the dozens of pages with turned-down corners.

*****
“Every artist makes himself born. It is very much harder than the other time, and longer. Your mother didn’t bring anything into the world to play piano. That you must bring into the world yourself.”

*****
“…What you want more than anything else in world is to be an artist; is that true?”
She turned her face away from him and looked down at the keyboard. Her answer came in a thickened voice. “Yes, I suppose so.”
“When did you first feel that you wanted to be an artist?”
“I don’t know. There was always--something.”

*****
“You weren’t ready for it eight months ago.” Fred leaned back at last in his chair. “You simply weren’t ready for it. You were too tired. You were too timid. Your whole tone was too low. … You were fumbling and awkward. Since then, you’ve come into your personality. You were always locking horns with it before. You were a sullen little drudge eight months ago, afraid of being caught at either looking or moving like yourself. Nobody could tell anything about you. A voice is not an instrument that’s found ready-made. A voice is personality.”

*****
“…To go back to your question, Dr. Archie, you can believe I keep my mind on it! That’s the whole trick, in so far as stage experience goes; keeping right there every second. If I think of anything for a flash, I’m done for. but at the same time, you can take things in – with another part of your brain, maybe. It’s different from what you get in study, more practical and conclusive. There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm. You learn the delivery of a part only before an audience.”
“Heaven help us!” gasped Ottenburg. “Aren’t you hungry, though! It’s beautiful to see you eat.”

*****
“What is it, Mr. Harsanyi? You know all about her. What’s her secret?”
Harsanyi rumpled his hair irritably and shrugged his shoulders. “Her secret? It is every artist’s secret” – he waved his hand – “passion. That is all. It is an open secret, and perfectly safe. Like heroism, it is inimitable in cheap materials.”

*****
Artistic growth is, more than it is anything else, a refining of the sense of truthfulness. The stupid believe that to be truthful is easy; only the artist, the great artist, knows how difficult it is. That afternoon nothing new came to Thea Kronborg, no enlightenment, no inspiration. She merely came into full possession of things she had been refining and perfecting for so long. Her inhibitions chanced to be fewer than usual, and, within herself, she entered into the inheritance that she herself had laid up, into the fullness of the faith she had kept before she knew its name or its meaning.”

*****
“…Then he walked down Broadway with his hands in his overcoat pockets, wearing a smile which embraced all the stream of life passed him and the lighted towers that rose into the limpid blue of the evening sky. If the singer, going home exhausted in her car, was wondering what was the good of it all, that smile, could she have seen it, would have answered her. It is the only commensurate answer.”

I think this is a book, like Salinger’s Franny and Zooey, to which I will return again and again. (I picked that book up again this fall after about ten years, and felt like I was reading a letter from my 18-year-old self, what with all the underlining and notes in the margins.) They both have so much to say about being an artist/singer/actor, and about how tough and painful and lonely but ultimately rewarding this life can be, if one really gives ones’ self over to it, although the rewards may be impossible to quantify.

I feel very heavy. Not down, not sad, just heavy. As if I just – finally, fully – accepted the weight of my life. It’s a good heaviness, but heavy, nonetheless.

Kitchen Sink

Sorry to keep that vomitous post at the top for so long! It’s been a busy week, and I’ve had a lot on my mind, so a “kitchen sink” post will have to do for today.

Glamorous: As I was tottering home from last night’s Gala in my 3.5 in. heels, a voice came over my left shoulder: “It’s a glamorous life, isn’t it?” It was Tom, the head of the wig department (both here and in Santa Fe), offering a tongue-in-cheek summary of the evening. All dolled up, the work done, heading home in the rain to get some food.

I thought of his comment when I got home and read that Netrebko and Villazon had given another Gala performance last week in Paris. That means they sang (and attended the Gala party afterward) on Wednesday night, flew to NYC on Thursday, rehearsed throughout the day on Friday and Saturday, were fitted for costumes and wigs, had one musical rehearsal with the maestro on Sunday, had ONE shot at a rehearsal with orchestra and chorus on Monday, and sang a very high-profile broadcast performance on Tuesday. Glamorous?! Sounds like a terribly stressful and exhausting life to me.

A perk: I have always thought that a mark of “making it” as a singer would be having designers give me clothes to wear when I sing, in exchange for telling people how much I love them. (The clothes, not the people.) Well, can you believe, it has happened!

Jocelyn suggested a while ago that we approach a young designer about collaborating with us for this recital, dressing us in his or her designs in exchange for blurbs in the program and publicity. It’s a perfect idea, really, totally in keeping with the idea behind the VIM series: new approaches to the “recital” and collaborations between young artists. And what is in more need of a makeover than the staid, stuffy recital dress? So I emailed a designer a few days ago and was thrilled when she responded this morning with a “yes!” Details to come, but you can imagine how excited I am!!

Onstage: Today was the day, the day I first set foot on that venerable stage. We had a three hour Suor rehearsal this morning, and rather than being down in the basement, we were on the stage, on the set. And – oh, man – was it exciting. My fellow “Novice,” in more ways than one, is LW; she and I are both making our debut in this production, and we have been absolutely silly with excitement for weeks now. (She also was an Elf-cover in Helena.) The veterans onstage with us, chorus women as well as the other principles, are very kind to us. They tolerate our giddiness, and often smile at us with a look that says, “I remember my first time.”

Now that I think about it, this really is a special role in which to debut. Mr. O’Brien is making several “teaching moments” out of the early scenes in the opera, instructing the elder nuns to take time to teach us, the Novices, about some history or ritual or even gossip about life in the abbey. He has pointed to us and said, more than once, “They are new here; they don’t know about this.” Or he has told them, “When you sing this to them, remember the first time you learned about it.” And while that is true for our characters in the opera, it is even more true for us, LW and ACB.

There is so much we don’t know about working at the Met. Traditions, secrets, unwritten rules, how to get from Payroll to the Artists’ Area without getting lost. The parallels between LW and ACB, debutantes at the Met, and Sister Who’s It and Sister What’s It (we’re still thinking of our characters’ names…), Novices in the Abbey, are strong. I feel blessed to be having this experience of induction, of instruction, of welcome into this wonderful community. Very blessed.

Bloggity blog blog: My mind has also been occupied this week with thoughts of the blog and its purpose, yet again. I was interested to see the Distracted Dilettante touch upon the idea of “blogging = narcissism,” since someone close to me basically said the same thing this week. I kept quiet here until I knew I had something to say, rather than posting for posting’s sake, and I’m still mulling some things over in my mind on this subject.

Why does it matter for me to share with “the blogosphere” my excitement about wig fittings (today!) and musical rehearsals with James Levine (tomorrow!) or my thoughts on building an opera career? These days, with the Bhakti Project on the table, there is certainly a larger aim: fundraising to pay for a new piece of music. But what about the rest? Is it really just me saying “look how cool I am?” Is it, as I have sometimes thought in the past, a substitute for my much-missed teaching days? Maybe all of the above. All I know at this point is that I’m not ready to stop; this is a community that I enjoy being a part of, and I’m honored to make my contribution.

Tomorrow’s rehearsal excitement? The donkey comes to the abbey! I’ll take pictures…

Unlikely metaphors

I had a coaching today with DN, who might become a regular set of initials here on the blog. He had so many good things to say, not the least of which helped me kick in my breath support.

We were going over Giannetta for tomorrow’s Elisir rehearsal (I’m double-booked all weekend AND called on Sunday! Woohoo, overtime!), and there are a few pages that are very wordy and fairly fast. Italian not being the language that trips most easily off my tongue, I kept getting stuck, tripping over the words, until DN came up with an analogy that just worked.

“The breath needs to kind of just flow out like vomit, and the consonants are like chunks in the vomit.”

Unbelievably disgusting, but surprisingly apt! And, unfortunately, this week I had some experience with the concept first hand. (Bad plantains? A bug from Sylvia? Who can say, but I was miserable on Tuesday.) So, I knew whereof he spoke, and I was quickly able to turn that analogy into some beautifully connected phrases with Italian words coming through clear as day.

Now, let’s think about this for a minute. Mimic a vomiting sound, complete with the hand-to-your-stomach motion. (I know, this has descended into seriously grody territory, but if you’re interested in the mechanics of singing, it’ll be insightful!) Did you feel the way your abdomen moved in and up, with a little flip? That’s exactly the way the diaphragm should move at the initiation of a phrase. And the consonants just kind of ride the wave. Not in the jaw, not in the tongue, but flowing out on the breath like so much vomit.

The analogy is so perfect! So gross! And so perfect!

Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “vomit-breath…”

On my feet!

I finally had a few hours of rehearsal for Suor Angelica this week, and boy, did it feel good to finally get up on my feet and stage some scenes! I don’t know this opera very well, being one of maybe three sopranos in the world who has never been in it. (Since it has an all female cast, it’s very popular in schools and other training programs.) But let me tell you, there were at least two moments, even in this rough first rehearsal, where I was brought to tears. The story, the singers, the staging… it’s going to be an incredible evening.

At the end of rehearsal, I went up to Mr. O’Brien to let him know that I will also be the “Young Lover, Soprano”, aka YLS, (not to be confused with YSL, with whom, yes, I would love to work!) in Tabarro. He said, “Oh, wonderful! I hope you’re not afraid of heights!”

Gulp!

Just as I suspected, my YLT and I will be walking across the bridge that can be seen in mockups of the Tabarro set. And, apparently, it’s very high! I told Mr. O’Brien that, yes, I am actually afraid of heights, but being in this business, I’ve learned to get over it. I have to! It seems we’re always on ledges or wires or staircases that push the limits of our comfort zone. God help me if I ever have to sing a Rhine Maiden! They often fly on rigs in order to create the illusion of swimming, all while singing and trying to look like they do it every day. Thankfully, I’m not exactly a Wagnerian… I actually volunteered for the lighting crew in college to help with the fear, but after I got a concussion up in the catwalks, I was relegated to costume crew. As long as no one threatens to push me over, I’ll be fine…in time.

Since our staging for Tabarro is entirely on the bridge, it looks like we’re not going to be called until the rehearsals are on the mainstage! Makes sense, of course, as there is no bridge in the C-level rehearsal room (although there is the boat…). But how crazy is that?! With three operas to stage in the time usually allotted for one, they have to use the rehearsal time most efficiently, and this seems to be an easy 30 seconds to cut out of early rehearsals.

One good thing about it: the sound up there, high up on the bridge and fairly far upstage, will be very different that it would be in a rehearsal room. If I only rehearse it on the stage, my ears won’t get used to having the sound source (piano or orchestra) closer than it would be in performance. The bigger the stage, the harder it is to account for the fraction of a second it takes for the sound from the orchestra to reach your ears. It is very easy to get behind the beat! So, with this rehearsal setup, I’ll be relying on my eyes from the very beginning. Good practice.

I have a Helena cover brush-up rehearsal tomorrow, and then rehearsals for the Gala start on Friday. I’m actually double booked on Friday, so I’ll be going back and forth between Angelica and Elisir. (Can I say that I’m terribly excited to be in the same room with Rolando Villazon? I’ve avoided much star-gushing here, but … eee!! I just know I’m going to blush.) I’ve had a fitting for my Gala costume, should I go on as Giannetta, but still no fitting for YLS’s sexy red dress! Next week, certainly.

Thoughts on last week’s MATA concerts and the big question of “image,” coming up.

"One of those big round ones"

Happy Birthday, Dad!!!!!
Yes, today is "one of those big round" birthdays for my Dad, seen above with me back when I was still a natural strawberry-blonde. What a handsome man! And stylish, too. (Seriously, I'm loving that jacket...)

I wish we could all have been together for this Saturday morning. The three Bird kids are spread around a bit now, with Sally and her husband in Idaho and Mark and his family here in New York City with me. Getting us all together in one visit is proving harder and harder these days. But, someday - hopefully soon and maybe in NYC? - we'll all be together. Maybe we'll have a big party for all the birthday's we've missed. You should hear this group sing Happy Birthday! It's a beautiful thing.

Love you, Dad!

Life goes on

In today’s round of “be careful how quickly you round the corners at the Met,” I came face to face (very close!) with Angela Gheorghiu. It was definitely one of those, “Hey, do I know you?” moments, where I felt like I should say hello since, obviously, I knew her. But I quickly realized that I only know her as a Famous Person, and if I had said, “Oh, hi!” like I almost did, I would have felt very silly!

I think she saw the progression of those thoughts across my face (I bet she sees it a lot), and smiled a very sweet smile as we passed. She is stunning, absolutely gorgeous. When do we see her in hi-def at the movies?

I finally start rehearsing on Monday! Tabarro rehearsals started this week, but they seem to be cycling through each of the three operas in Trittico, rehearsing a different one each day. Since my scene in Tabarro is near the end, my number never came up in rotation this week. I certainly stayed occupied, what with getting Bhakti off the ground (we’ve already gotten a couple of nibbles about recitals for 08-09!) and doing the preliminary round of the Oratorio Society of New York competition. (I’ll hear about the semi-finals in early April.) But I’m ready to start getting up on my feet and rehearsing! Being a cover for the past three months (three months!!) has been a great way to get familiar with the Met and the way the system works there, but I’m ready to work. Sitting and watching is not what I came here to do!

Tomorrow morning I’m meeting with a group of high school choir kids visiting from Boulder (one of whom attends my parents’ church); we’ll do a little tour of Lincoln Center and talk about life as a singer in the big city. In the afternoon I’m going to record some arias, then covering Helena (from home, since it’s not a broadcast) before heading to see a campy scary movie with a bunch of Santa Fe folks. Saturday, an audition and then the final MATA concert, not to mention my father’s 60th Birthday!! Sunday promises to hold brunch (of course) and some babysitting of the Brooklyn Birds (which will include watching Sylvia’s favorite movie) as a gift for my brother’s birthday, which is Monday. A good weekend.

Hope you have one, too!

New photos

Oh, and one more thing I did this weekend: added some new Production photos to the Photos page on my website. Four new shots from Black Box Opera Theater's double bill of Degenerate Cabaret and The Emperor of Atlantis. I've got some new sound clips to get up there, too, but I haven't quite figured out how to do that. Stay tuned...

Devotion

This weekend, my commission/recital/recording project took two major steps forward.

First, it found a name: The Bhakti Project. The title came to me in a practice session as I was singing through one of the Harbison Mirabai Songs, “Don’t Go, Don’t Go.” Mira asks Krishna (called “The Dark One” throughout her poetry) to show her “where to find the bhakti path.” I looked up the definition of the Sanskrit word months ago when I first started working on the song, but on this day its meaning really struck me: devotion.

It was, quite literally, an “aha!” moment. I didn’t shout “Eureka,” but I did stop singing and smile at my notes written in the margin of the page. Devotion. Several definitions of this word fit the recital and commission: “profound dedication; consecration;” “feelings of ardent love;” “religious zeal; the willingness to serve God.” Each of the voices on my recital program is devoted to knowing God.

And then, this one: “Commitment to some purpose.” Somewhere along my career path as a singer, I became devoted to new music. From my first collaborations with composition students at the University of Georgia, I fell in love with the process of working with a composer and other musicians to make something new, of giving life to a work that didn’t exist before but, if we all do our jobs right, might be around for years and years after we are gone. Anyone who loves “classical music” should be devoted to seeing that it remains a living art. And so, The Bhakti Project was born.

The second step came when I submitted an application for Fiscal Sponsorship through Fractured Atlas. A NYC-based arts-support organization, FA is an incredible resource for individual artists and arts groups around the nation. Just look at the headings on their website navigation bar: Healthcare (!), Fiscal Sponsorship, Liability Insurance, Marketing & Promotion, Professional Development, The Emerging Artists Fund. And those are just the tools for artists. They have a whole other section for Donors and Public that includes their own fundraising, events calendars, and newsletters.

What is Fiscal Sponsorship? Well, most folks are hesitant to donate more than the change in their pockets unless they can get a tax deduction for it. As someone who itemizes pages of deductions every year, I totally get that! But, in order for me to get 501(c)(3) status, I’d have to go through all sorts of legal and financial riggamaroll that would, likely, get in the way of the project or, even more likely, get me so frustrated that I throw in the towel. But Judd’s already writing, so it’s too late for that!

FA has set things up with IRS to sponsor artists and projects, essentially bringing them in under their umbrella of 501(c)(3) tax status. For their assistance, Fractured Atlas takes a very reasonable 6% cut from all donations. Read all about the incredible program here. My application for sponsorship will be reviewed in early April, and I’ll be set up with a page on their website where donors can easily and safely make contributions to the Bhakti Project. How cool is that??!!

Taking a page from the Bang on a Can People’s Commissioning Fund, the idea behind The Bhakti Project is to collect smaller contributions from multiple donors and support one big project. The chronicling of the project through this blog already makes it a public process; I guess I’m just taking it one step further by asking for your help!

If you are devoted to new music, if this project inspires you in any way, please consider helping me with a contribution. I’ll be set up for tax-deductible donations in April, but I certainly won’t turn anyone away until then. Fractured Atlas is also set up to accept in-kind donations, so if any graphic designers out there are interested in donating a couple of hours for some publicity and many thanks, the Bhakti Project needs a logo! We’ll need a photo shoot for publicity materials and, eventually, the CD liner notes. If you live in or near New York City and would be interested in hosting a fundraising house concert, Jocelyn and I would love to get dressed up and come sing for you! There are so many ways to get involved.

I am so excited about this. Over the past month, talking about it with my colleagues and contemporaries (thanks for the plug, Alex!), it has been amazing to watch the momentum pick up. And I am so grateful to have this venue in which to document the process and to have you, my readers, to bounce all these ideas off of. Thanks, everybody!

“From where ever it is right now.”

Yesterday, I had another meeting with Judd Greenstein, my friend, colleague, and collaborator on this very exciting recital project. We’ve met several times over the past two years, and we talked yesterday about how the timing has worked out, how it seems like all of a sudden, this project is flying – now! I think we work similarly, whether in learning music (me), writing music (Judd), or getting projects off the ground: lots of thinking, some talking, some sketching, and then BAM! There is goes.

And so this project is front and center in my mind: programming, rehearsing, publicizing, recording, scheduling, and, not at all least, financing. I’ve been talking about fundraising almost non-stop these days, with anyone who will listen. Lots of brainstorming going on, and I’m lucky to be in touch with several colleagues who have great track records of fundraising and organizing. I’m picking some excellent brains, and I have a few ideas which I’ll present here over the next couple of weeks. Stay tuned…

As it has evolved, our project (which is still nameless, although there are front-runners…) has presented natural “phases,” each with its own to-do list, collaborators, and financial needs. Here are the phases of this project, as it stands now:

Premiere: May 17th at Vim: TriBeCa. This event will be the world premiere of Judd’s piece and the premiere performance of this concert program. It will also be the kick-off fundraiser for our as-yet-nameless project fund! Maybe a reception afterwards…

Record: Ideally, early Fall 2007. The cd will be a reduced version of the concert program, and will be made available on online retailers and at our performances (JG, JD, and myself). Judd’s burgeoning record label, New Amsterdam Records, will release the cd.

Tour: Over the next year (essentially, Season 07-08), I would like to present this program four or five times in venues around the country, maybe in conjunction with masterclasses for singers and/or composers at University music schools. The more performances, the more exposure, both for us, the performers, and for the new work.

Of course, all of this takes money. Judd and I applied for a grant last year. We didn’t get it, in part, likely, because of the way we’ve brought this project to life - slowly, with lots of diffuse elements and ideas scattered around which have only recently been brought into focus. We had a great idea, but it was still too vague an idea for the grant committee to see the potential and give us money.

That concept – scattered elements brought into focus – can be applied to every facet of this project. I was talking to a friend about fundraising last week (like I said, it’s all I talk about these days!), and he shared a story with me. He attends a meditation center near Boston, and years ago when the idea for the center was still just that, an idea, the Maharishi needed to raise a million dollars to bring the center into being. The people around him asked, “But where are you going to get that kind of money?” The Maharishi simply answered, “From where ever it is right now.”

The money for this project is out there, and we believe that it wants to come to us. Judd, Jocelyn, and I believe strongly in this project and in the future of our collaboration on other projects. I told Judd the story of the Maharishi over lunch, and then later when we were talking in more detail about the music, he used the line “from where ever it is right now” to describe composing. Amazing idea, isn’t it? That the music exists out there, scattered about, and bit by bit – or all at once! – it comes. Lisa Bielawa described it in a different way on her BMOP MySpace blog: “terry's synopsis for trumpet has introduced itself.” I love this idea! “Hello there, I’m your next composition!” It is our job as artists to be open to receiving these ideas and inspirations as they come.

I’ll write more soon about my fundraising ideas. Lots of things to explore, lots of people to talk with and meet with. Lots of “putting it out there” and making it happen.

Oh, man, I just realized that I wrote this whole post and didn’t talk about the music part of my meeting with Judd! Rather than get into it here, I’ll post again later. Needless to say, when we parted ways on the corner of 8th and Broadway, we were both inspired. We’ve been talking about this project for two years, but yesterday, our partnership was born.

Links for March 16th

NYTimes article on acting in opera - Yes, Virginia, there are opera singers who can act! “…a new generation of opera singers, fine vocal artists who care deeply about acting and do it very well.” Excellent article, excellent performers.

Ljova livin’ the life - add to this a performance of some kind at night, and you get an accurate picture of what life as a multi-track musician is like. I’m sure he’s had many of those days… And then, imagine doing it all on the road, in an unfamiliar city!

TSR on wine and knowledge - “Snobbishness is not the opposite of ignorance; in fact, I would argue that they share space on the same side of the coin.”

Belief and the Law of Attraction - Michelle over at A Singer’s Life gives her take on what I call manifesting.

Not the Messiah: He’s a very naughty boy - As the Gospels are to Handel’s Messiah, so this comedic oratorio is to The Life of Brian. Oh, the tears of laughter are streaming already! And talk about embracing the silly! (Via OperaChic)

And speaking of silly, what I wouldn’t give to be in Seattle next month and see MP talking to herself! If you’re in the area, you are strongly encouraged to check out the Northwest Puppet Center’s production of another hidden gem of Baroque puppet opera.

Rollercoaster

What a night at the opera house! I’m sure other bloggers will be piping in soon with reports from front of the house, but I can give a small insight into what was happening backstage and, to some extent, onstage.

It was an exciting night for me to begin with, as my colleague KW made her debut as First Elf. I got her the cutest pair of slippers from the Opera gift shop: white slip-ons with “Diva” embroidered in gold on each one! Adorable. And since singers are often barefoot on stage, we get slippers as part of our costume to wear from the dressing area to stage and back. Usually the ones from the costume shop are used (although maybe the “big stars” get new ones?), so this way she can have her own pair with her every show! It made sense as a gift for this show, as the elves are, indeed, barefoot-ish. (They all wear tunics with a kind of body-suit-with-feet underneath. And blue faces. And beards!)

I stopped in to see her and was told of the plan to meet after intermission (we Elvenkind) and toast her with wine and cheese during Act II. Natürlich! I went down to the cafeteria to spend Act I studying my Barber and Messiaen songs. (I actually got a lot more accomplished since KW wasn’t there to chat with me!)

Our tenor had to miss the final dress rehearsal due to illness, but he was dressed and warmed up and ready to go at the start of the show tonight. But, he wasn’t as healthy as he thought and hoped, and he struggled through Act I. It is so hard to hear (over the loudspeakers in the caf) and see (from the stage, based on my colleagues’ reports) your friend and colleague struggling. Fighting to make things work! “I know I can do this! I just did it four days ago!” We’d watched him through the entire rehearsal process, and believe me, he’s an outstanding singer! He just wasn’t healthy tonight. All of our hearts went out to him, because, as with all suffering: “There but for the grace of God go I.”

So, at intermission, the decision was made to put the cover on. (I don’t know how this decision gets made, who asks or decides. I’m sure it’s different every time, and always a unique case.) And all of a sudden, the energy shifted! I stayed away from the backstage area during intermission, because I knew it would be crazy and intense. But during Act II, we listened through the dressing room intercoms and toasted our colleague stepping out and making a fabulous debut! He really nailed it, and we could sense the rest of the production rising up on his energy.

There was lots of holding our breath for upcoming high notes or killer phrases, and then cheering as he cleared hurdle after hurdle. I wasn’t invited to the opening night party – covers generally aren’t, but I guarantee they made an exception for MH tonight! – so I won’t get to see him until next week’s shows, but I can’t imagine how high he must be flying tonight. His wife and children are home in Mississippi, and I know he will miss them tonight as he falls, exhausted, into bed.

Congratulations to my colleagues! Two successful debuts, one planned for and prepared, and one unplanned for – and prepared! That’s the way to cover.

(In news of a certain other debut coming up in a few weeks: I found a fabulous dress for the opening night party! My dress is in a wine-colored stretch satin and shorter than the ones pictured, and I absolutely love it. I'll have to resist the urge to wrap and re-wrap it all night! "Look what this dress can do!!")

For every dress, a story

I had a costume fitting for Suor Angelica last week, my first fitting at the Met for a costume that I’ll actually get to wear! It is a very sweet novice habit, a beautiful Wedgwood blue, and not at all harsh, as suited to one who has yet to take her vows. When the costumers learned that I will also be singing “Young Lover Soprano” in Il tabarro - and wearing a sexy red dress - we went to town making up a back-story to tie these two characters together! How does a girl go from being a YLS in a red dress to being a Novice in sensible shoes?

Since Tabarro is first on the bill, we decided that after too many nights spent walking through the streets of Paris with my Young Lover Tenor, (and stopping on - or under - various bridges to sing about the perfumed evening…) my parents stuck me in a convent. Take away the red dress, give a girl some sensible shoes, and hope she mends her wicked ways!

Of course, once a YLS, always a YLS, so we determined that my Novice never takes her vows! She is rescued by a rich archduke or merchant who fell in love with her after seeing her at Mass. Maybe it was something about the saucy way she wore her wimple… How does it end? Does she ever see her YLT again? Who knows, but I’m sure we’ll continue to flesh out the story over the next few weeks. Rehearsals start on the 19th!

This is all in fun, of course; the three stories of Il trittico aren’t connected by story or place or time. Just three stand-alone shorts, so to speak. Connected only by the limits of our imagination!

Quotidien

If you want to know how I’m spending my free time these days, read Tom’s fabulous post on learning atonal music! Granted, most of the music on my plate is traditional, but some of the Harbison and Messiaen songs are requiring me to pull out all my tricks. Colored pencils, pitch charts, fun markings, metronomes, and lots and lots of counting.

I’m just about to start work on the actual pitches of the trickiest sections. My keyboard is kind of on the fritz, though, and so I’m a bit nervous about working with my pedal tones. We’ll see how it goes. Sometimes, for no apparent reason, it sounds like a cat jumps on the keys and then the darn thing freezes up! Or, it’ll keep working but sound like a horribly out of tune piano. Bizarre. That’s what I get for buying a $20 keyboard from Radio Shack!

Tonight, though, a voice lesson, then drinks with a high school classmate I haven’t seen in 13 years! He was my boyfriend’s best friend, and my primary memory is of him sitting on an amp in my driveway, playing guitar while my boyfriend serenaded me. With “Wild Thing.” Uh-huh. In front of my big, cool, college-attending brother! I was mortified. It wasn’t as John Hughes as it sounds, and certainly not John Cusack! Ah, young love.

Hopefully there will be no serenading tonight, unless we end up singing show tunes at The After Party!

Have a great weekend, every body! Helena final dress on Monday!

Also on the piano: A Recital

How long now have I been alluding to this recital project? Far too long, and as my work on the program builds up, I’m finally getting around to writing about it.

The seed for this project was actually planted in May of 2005, so it will be just about two years when it all comes to fruition (somebody knock on wood) on May 17th. Judd Greenstein and I met when we were both Fellows at Tanglewood, and I think we got back in touch when we were both listed on the blogroll at The Rest is Noise. I was in the early planning stages for a CD project (which never happened) and asked Judd if he would be interested in writing me a new song or group of songs to be included. I think the original program theme back then was American song, but I quickly realized that that is a very popular CD theme!

As Judd and I tossed text ideas back and forth, a theme emerged built around Judd’s piece, which I knew I wanted to be the centerpiece of the recital. We moved through Millay’s poetry to the writings of Sufi mystics, only to settle on passages from the Zohar, a central text of Kabbalah, Jewish mysticism. I also knew that I wanted to program some or all of John Harbison’s Mirabai Songs, settings of the ecstatic poetry of a 16th century Krishna devotee, so from these two ideas came the theme: intimacy with Spirit.

By January of this year, the theme and program had pretty much solidified. Here’s what I wrote up for the venue website:

What happens when you take away the trappings of religion and leave behind faith and doubt? How have poets and composers captured the intimacy of a relationship with the Spirit? What is a relationship with the Spirit? Soprano Anne-Carolyn Bird and pianist Jocelyn Dueck present songs pulled from diverse spiritual traditions with an eye toward answering these questions and more. The recital will feature works by Rachmaninoff, Barber, Dallapiccola, Messiaen, and Harbison, as well as folks songs and other native musics. A world-premiere work by Judd Greenstein, - based on texts from the Zohar, the central book of Kabbalah - rounds out this intimate and challenging program.

Oh, and the venue? Also a cool development over the past year. Judd has joined with another Tanglewood alumnus, Kimball Gallagher, to create VIM:TriBeCa, a concert series held in a TriBeCa art gallery. They started with five or six programs scheduled when the inaugural season started in September, and as of now they will present fifteen distinct programs in the 06-07 season. Focusing on new music and young performers, VIM presents concerts at Gallarie Icosahedron, often in conjunction with openings and exhibitions. It’s great to see a new venture like this take off and be so successful right away.

As for the program, entitled “I Have Some Light: Songs of Spirit,” I wanted to try and include as many different voices and spiritual backgrounds as I could. Jocelyn and I could have kept digging and searching and finding new music for years, but I made myself stop and commit! I didn’t find everything I was looking for (I wish I’d found something Islamic or some folk songs in another language), but I’m pretty pleased with the diversity. We’ll have Hindu (Harbison, Mirabai), European Catholic (Barber, Hermit Songs), existential (Messiaen, Poemes pour mi), Russian Orthodox (Rachmaninoff), Spanish mysticism (Dallapiccola), American Protestant (hymns, folk songs), and I consider Bolcom’s “Waitin’” (poem by Arnold Weinstein) to be a beautiful description of the Buddhist search for enlightenment:

Waitin, waitin,
I’ve been waitin, waitin, waitin all my life.
That light keeps on hiding from me,
But it someday just might bless my sight.
Waitin, waitin, waitin

I have a lot of work to do in the next two months to get this program in shape, but I love this project! What a journey it’s been on, and there’s so much more to come. Sounds like life, doesn’t it?

Two Blogroll Omissions

What would a quarterly Blogroll Update be without an addendum? Seems I can never get all my new blogs out in one post. Here are two more, one musical and one political-ish.

Conservatory Bound - Alex is a violinist turned singer in the middle of auditions for (graduate?) school. As a singer who has always related to string analogies, I’m enjoying stuff like this: “I've been told to death that I need to pay attention to my breathing, but actually thinking of it as bowing immediately helped hew together my singing technique in a fundamental way.”

John Swift – political and social satire of the highest caliber.

Santa Fe Opera 2005, Represent!

Congrats to three of my colleagues from the Santa Fe Opera YAP Class of 2005 - CB, JB, and MF - on their wins at the George London Finals yesterday! CB won the Wagner prize, JB another $10k prize, and MF an Encouragement award. I met up with CB and JB for drinks afterward, and while it would, of course, have been nice to be celebrating my own win, I was so happy to be with colleagues who are good friends and whose successes I am so proud of. And, hey, they were buying!

There will also be three SFO '05'ers at Wolf Trap, all of us sopranos! I can't wait to be around RC's infectious laugh and BF's sweet spirit (and killer high notes!) again.

Way to go, team!!

Summer

While I’m waiting to hear if I can go out to have drinks for my birthday or if I need to stay home and rest for the George London Finals tomorrow, I thought I’d distract myself by finally writing about the summer. Through a most unorthodox – but not really that unusual – turn of events, I will be a Filene Young Artist at Wolf Trap!

As I made pretty clear a few weeks ago, I didn’t audition for Wolf Trap this year. But I sang a good audition for them in 2005 (Kim Witman is the voice behind the table in the first anecdote in my “Average Audition” post), and KPW and I have kept in touch over the past couple of years. When she learned that my summer plans had fallen through, she let me know of their own unusual situation.

After they’d made invitations for the summer, WTOC had several returning singers, including a soprano, withdraw from their contracts, each for their own good reasons. The handful of other sopranos that they had on their shortlist after the auditions in December had all been informed that they weren’t in the final group, released from their “holds,” and they went on to accept other summer gigs. So Kim and her crew went back to the drawing board, so to speak, informing some initially rejected singers that they might be considered again – and inviting me to come down to Vienna and audition. I took a day trip to DC, sang four arias (the most I’ve sung in any audition), and was later offered the spot!

A friend of mine said, when the first gig fell through, “There must be something better out there for you this summer.” I agreed, of course, because you always agree when someone says that when trying to cheer you up, but inside I was thinking, “What can there be, this late in the game?” And here it is, quite possibly the perfect summer scenario for me at this stage of my career. I still don’t quite understand how it came to me, or why, but I’m going to take the opportunity and run with it. It’s unexpected, and unusual, but here it is.

I have heard so many wonderful things about Wolf Trap – the attitude of support and collegiality that is fostered there, the level of artistry of the singers and staff, the beauty of the surrounding area – and it is seen as the height of “young artist programs.” People look at WTOC and say “Who’s singing there this year?” It’s like a barometer of the up-and-coming singers. Does that make sense? As Kim says in her post today, “an entire generation of singers began their careers” at Wolf Trap. She lists Nathan Gunn, Dawn Upshaw, Mary Dunleavy, and Eric Owens, and the rest of the list of alumni is thrilling. And now, since a professional gig I’d pinned my hopes on didn’t pan out, I get the chance to join them. What a ride.

While I’ve been typing this, I’ve learned that calls went out for the finals, and I didn’t make the cut. Oh, well. Win some, lose some, as this post now fully relates!

Now I have no reason not to stay up until 2am watching Season Two of Grey’s Anatomy…

Blogroll Update, Winter 07

As always, the full cast of characters is here.

Confessions of a Pioneer Woman – Ever thought you wanted to live on a ranch? Ree’s accounts and gorgeous photos will alternately change and make up your mind! Be forwarned, her husband is pretty much a dreamboat, which doesn’t hurt the case for being a rancher’s wife…

The Determined Dilettante – Elizabeth Vincentelli is the A&E Editor for Time Out New York. She’s currently on vacation, but she’ll be back.

Distracted Dilettante – I’ve linked to her a couple of times, and now here she is in the Blogroll. She’s a singer, and she loves cupcakes.

Iron Tongue of Midnight – Classical music blog of Lisa Hirsch, San Francisco-based music critic and writer.

The Quotidian – Lisa Bielawa, currently composer-in-residence with Boston Modern Orchestra Project and a regular brunch date of mine! The blog chronciles the creation of (among other things) “Chance Encounter,” a work “for migrating ensembles and soprano.” You’ll have to read to figure out what that means.

Score Desk – the next hot young opera blogger.

A Singer’s Life – Only blogging since September, the young woman writing this blog has amassed dozens of informative posts. Expect many references to ASL in the future!

The Soup-a-Sonic – In pursuit of good music – and good soup!

Overzealous

Note to self: Don’t come home and dive into an intense hour of singing after eating a huge brunch, no matter how inspired you might be after reading this month’s Opera News. Just don’t.

I have the worse case of heartburn I’ve had in months. Ouch!!

What was so inspiring? Here are some quotes:

Emily Pulley on rhetoric: “Professor Como said that the basis of good rhetoric – you know, the kind we never hear anymore – is to be a reliable source, speak the truth and love your audience. And something in my mind clicked. That’s the kind of singer I want to be.”

Diana Damrau on Aithra: “I’m looking forward not only to sing this but to play this role!” Opera can also be about the words!!

From a review of LHL’s Neruda Songs: “[Regardless of] the music on offer…, the mezzo could create for her listeners the illusion of complete spontaneity; she made every word and every not her own, performing with the commitment and pride of an artist who was delivering a piece that had been written just for her.”

Also, I’m sure I’m not the only singer who “does the math” about other singer’s ages when reading biographical articles. We all wonder how we’re doing, whether we’re on a track to achieve the same level of success by the same age. Of course, we know that each track is different, everyone gets to their peak at a different time, blah blah blah, but we can’t help but compare. I was inspired by doing the math on Emily Pulley, who reveals that she will turn 40 this year; she made her Met debut in a small role in 1993 (she was also a Met Competition winner that year), so at age 26. In the last 14 years, she has slowly worked her way from that small role to a full plate of roles at top houses and a reputation for success in American opera. We younger singers very easily forget that success isn’t handed to us right out of grad school, or right after a summer at a top YAP, or even after signing our first Met contract. It’s a long time coming. We work now to achieve later, if that makes any sense.

After all this, plus a few pages of Song of the Lark, I was ready to come home and get down to business! But my poor overstuffed belly didn’t appreciate getting pushed around by my overzealous diaphragm and abs, and now I have heartburn. So it’s armchair work for the rest of the night: L’elisir translations and diction work. Also very important steps towards achieving that success, but not quite as viscerally fulfilling as singing scales and arpeggios…

Birthday

Via The Distracted Dilettante, it's the birthday of Edna St. Vincent Millay!

the concert is named after one of her poems, as I explained in the inaugural post. (Boy, does that seem like a lifetime ago...) In honor of her day, here is another favorite.

Assault

I had forgotten how the frogs must sound
After a year of silence, else I think
I should not have ventured forth alone
At dusk along this unfrequented road.

I am waylaid by Beauty! Who will walk
Between me and the crying of the frogs?
Oh, savage beauty, suffer me to pass,
That am a timid woman, on her way
From one house to another.

On the “Piano”

If I had a piano, I’d have several stacks of music piled on it these days, things I’m learning or revisiting for upcoming events. I haven’t done an entry like this in a while, so I thought it might be worth a look. Here’s what’s “on the piano” these days.

For a last-minute audition tomorrow for a recital foundation:
Rorem, “In a Gondola”
Schubert, “Gretchen am Spinnrade”
Bellini, “Per pieta, bell’ idol mio”
Poulenc, “Violon”
Rachmaninoff, “Zdes xhorosho”

These are all songs I’ve sung before, nothing new, but I’m having to spend a little extra time with “Gretchen,” making sure the words are in there. I’ve been asked in the comments to explain how I memorize words, and in order to really know that I have them, I have to write them over and over and over again. That’s really the only way for me! And I think when I learned “Gretchen,” I didn’t really go through the process. I crammed it. So now, when I look at it again, it’s not on autopilot like it should be. More on the memorization process soon.

For an opera competition next week:
standard audition repertoire
plus the new addition of Juliette’s first act aria, “Je veux vivre.” (Another “big girl” role making it’s way into my rep.

For the Oratorio Society Competition:
Come unto Him, Messiah, Handel
Jauchzet Gott in allen Landen, Cantata 51, Bach
Laudate dominum, Vesperae solennes, Mozart
Lua descolorida, La Pasion segun San Marcos, Golijov
Carmina Burana, Orff

The requirements for this competition are one aria from Messiah, three arias from contrasting works, and all the solos from one complete oratorio. I feel like this is a good program, showing a little bit of everything. I really hope they ask for the Golijov…

For the rest of the season at the Met:

Suor Angelica and Il tabarro
L’elisir d’amore

For the summer:

an opera (How’s that for vague?!)

I recently learned who will be directing the opera, and it’s someone I’ve wanted to work with for a while now. We’re both excited for the opportunity, and knowing he would be there made this experience even more appealing! I think we’ll have a lot of fun.

Back to Gretchen and her spinning wheel…

Blocking

Every singer has their own system for learning their staging. Some people write directly into the score, some on sticky notes or paper, and some don’t write down anything, trusting their memories or the director/assistant director/stage manager to remember for them. Some write down every nuance flick of the wrist, some include nuanced dramatic motivation, and some just write “sit/stand/walk.” It doesn’t really matter, in truth, how we learn it, just so long as we learn it well enough to make the same moves at every run-through. The nuances can change, but if your costar is expecting you to cross at a certain time, it’s good to get it right!

My system is an amalgam of things that I was taught in school and that I have observed over the years in practice. As I’ve mentioned before, I learned the basics of stagecraft from my Jr. High drama teacher, Ms. Stettler. I remember taking a test in which I had to fill in the diagram of the areas of the stage, using their abbreviations: USL (upstage-left), DS (downstage), C (center, where we all like to be), and so on. (Here’s a good diagram, although they use Corner # for USL/USR/etc..) I still use the abbreviations today; they’re part of the shorthand I’ve developed, I guess.

A few years ago, an artist I was working with suggested using sticky-notes to write blocking. This is a great idea, to my way of thinking, for three reasons. One, it keeps your music clean, so you can actually read the music. Two, blocking often gets changed several times throughout the rehearsal process, and the constant erasing can damage your score. This way you can just pull out a new sticky note and start over! And, lastly, you always hope to perform an opera more than once, in more than one production. If your score is filled with notes from your last production, there’s no place for your new blocking. But you can get a new color of sticky note and start afresh. (I just pulled my Midsummer score off the shelf and took a look at the sticky notes from that production. Even when I perform the role again, I’ll keep those notes as reminders of that wonderful experience!)

So, here’s a picture of a page in my Jenufa score:



and one in my Helena score:



(Click to enlarge.)

On most of my notes, I draw a diagram of the stage, usually just a three-sided box. The Jenufa note is a good example of this; I’ve even drawn in the big rock that was jutting up through the stage. In this diagram, I’ll write letters to represent the other characters (i.e., J for Jenufa) and an “x” for me. Arrows indicate movement, and numbers in circles correspond with numbers I’ve written into the score to indicate when I should move to or arrive at a certain spot. Of courses, now that I look again, there are none of those in that picture! But there’s an arrow, and a diagram of the stage, and a bit of “dramatic intention,” so hopefully you get the idea.

You can see numbers on the Helena note, along with their corresponding spots in the music. “M” in the direction for #3 is Menelas, the tenor, and the small stage diagram at the bottom shows the positions we all end up in by the end of the next page. This system is not an exact science, as you can see, because in this example, the x’s are chorus members, not my character. There are no arrows on this sticky-note, either, mostly likely because there is A LOT of movement in this scene! Arrows would get confusing. Arrows are good for simple, clean movements, like Jano’s exit up there on the pink note.

Is this clear at all?! Questions?

That’s about it, really, for my system. I use these notes to review before a rehearsal and refer to them before I sit to do any visualizing. I had to step into a couple of rehearsals last week (Elf #2 is also singing Jano; she had days off or days when she would have gone into overtime, so they called me in), and I was always grateful to have something to review before getting up on my feet.

Stuff like dramatic intention, character development, subtle prop work, stage “business, etc., rarely makes it onto my sticky-notes. That sort of detail is “living,” so to speak; it changes depending on the moment, so I hate to pin it down. Sometimes something works so well I’ll do it every time, but the little moves that make a character look real onstage can’t really be diagramed. Diana Damrau, who is singing Aithra in this production of Helena, is a master at bringing a character to life through subtle details, and I am enjoying watching her work. Maybe I’ll end up incorporating some of her “system” into mine!

Remedies

I set out with the best of intentions this evening, carrying my new yoga bag (a Christmas gift from my sister) through the snow flurries to my 6:30 yoga class. Only, guess what? The class started at 6:00. D’oh! “The best laid plans…”

Instead of asanas, I wandered a bit and found another blues-buster, one favored by at least two of my readers: CUPCAKES!!


Now, I’m no food pornographer, but those look pretty good, right? Devil’s Food and Raspberry… yummmmm. A clean house, some exercise, cupcakes, and free episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and Ugly Betty on abc.com. Life’s not so blue after all. In another attempt to get out of my head, I also, per my mother’s suggestion, found a potential volunteer opportunity in my neighborhood; more on that as it develops.

Here are those bullet points I promised:

• I attended the Friday lunchtime concert of the New York Philharmonic last weekend. It was an interesting mix of a program: a Beethoven piano concerto, selections from Debussy’s “Impressions for Orchestra,” and the US Premiere of a work by Swedish composer Roger Börzt. The Börzt piece opened the concert, with a strident and seemingly endless chord, shimmering in the high strings. It was pushed the limit of uncomfortability (if that’s a word), and the much of the audience was obviously uncomfortable throughout most of the piece. I loved it, however, and I think I showed my age a bit when I grew quickly bored with the Beethoven! Obviously, I love Beethoven, but my tastes lean more and more toward what’s being written today.

• Also on Friday, I had a late lunch with Ariadne, who spent a long weekend taking in as much opera as she could cram into her schedule! It's always fun to meet other bloggers face to face, and this was no exception. Hope you had a wonderful NYC visit!

• Saturday night, KW and I sat in the company box to watch Judith Forst work her magic as Kostelnicka. With apologies to Sieglinde, this was our view: Cool! The sound wasn’t as good there as elsewhere in the house, but the vantage point was worth it. And of course, Forst didn’t disappoint! Someone a few tiers above us ripped up their playbill to throw as confetti at her curtain call, which was totally cool. I turned toward the house to drink in the scene as the audience let the performers know how much they enjoyed the evening. It was one of those “pinch me” moments…

• Last night I went with some friends to watch our friend LC perform in Follies at City Center. She was SOOOO wonderful, and beautiful, and it was absolutely thrilling to see her onstage with stars like Donna Murphy, Christine Baranski, Victoria Clark, and Victor Garber. Remember my shattered illusions of Broadway a few months ago? Well, they’ve been restored. Across the board, the commitment and skill and talent on that stage was awe-inspiring. Victoria Clark’s vocal technique is a dream, and Donna Murphy is beyond sensational. It was a night full of goose bumps and gasps, truly thrilling. The thrills continued as we bumped into star after star backstage and at the cast party: SJP and Matthew Broderick, Nathan Lane, Bernadette Peters, Joel Grey, Barbara Cook, Fred Willard, and the maestro himself: Stephen Sondheim. What a night!!

• (One more note about that: I totally geeked out on Donna Murphy. I told her that I belonged to what I imagined was a small cross-section of her fans who saw her as Fosca in Passion on Broadway and then wore out the CD original cast recording AND who own her Star Trek movie. Dork!!)

• Helena rehearsals started this week, and tomorrow I think I’ll get a chance to get up on my feet. I’m covering the same woman in this production that I did in Jenufa, and on days when she has a show in the evening, I’ll likely get to step in for her for at least part of the rehearsal. It sounds like the Elves are going to have a lot of blocking, which means lots of rehearsal… This is also a new production, rather than a revival (like Jenufa) in which the director is working from the blocking book he and the stage managers created when they built the show the first time. (I love that book. It’s an office supply-lover’s dream! Maybe I’ll get a picture…)

That’s all she wrote! Thanks for your words of encouragement; they meant a lot.

Re: those new words

Ainadamar is no longer a Grammy Award-nominated CD: It's a Grammy Winner!!

That's a bit of a boost for the winter doldrums, eh? I've been told that I should get a certificate, which, should I ever have a wall big enough to hang things on, I will proudly frame and display.

Wish I could raise a glass to celebrate with my colleagues on the recording. I imagine we are all spread far and wide at the moment, but today you've all been close to my heart. "Ay, que dia!!"

(Read about the recording sessions (from my limited perspective) here, here, and here.)

Kind of Blue

When both my mother and my surrogate-Santa Fe-mother inquire within 24 hours of each other as to why I’ve been so quiet lately, I guess the gig’s up!

I haven’t been hiding intentionally. Just nursing yet another cold and a case of the winter doldrums. January was filled with warm weather and the thrill of starting work at the Met. February has so far brought cold weather the likes of which I haven’t seen since Boston six years ago; the day-to-day routine of a job, amazing and flexible though the job may be; the fourth or fifth head cold since my arrival in NYC; and some weirdness in the social scene. In short, it’s been kind of a drag. A friend who was born and raised here warns me that the next couple of weeks, as the weather stays cold, are going to be even harder, but that by the end of the month, things will start to look up. Um, thanks for the warning? Very encouraging.

In what is very likely a case of the chicken and the egg, I haven’t been to yoga since Christmas, haven’t been meditating, and haven’t been eating well. Hmmm… anybody have a guess as to why I’m in the dumps? And yet, the cycle continues and I haven’t been able to kick myself in the pants and get out of it. Which means I’m not studying as much, not learning as much music, not practicing as much. And getting more frustrated about it as a result. But I should be reaching critical mass here pretty soon, so expect lots of posts about productivity in the near future. (Insert emoticon for annoyed sarcasm here...)

I’ve also been thinking a bit more about my blog and its role in my life. It might have aided in getting me a job, but it also might have played a hand in losing a friendship. I’m not 100% clear on either count, but I believe the concert was likely involved in some way, however small, in both. I’m not sure what that means as to the future of the blog, but it’s on my mind.

So, that’s that. I’ll put up another lame bullet points post this afternoon to catch you up on some of what’s been going on. I have a bunch of other posts in the pipeline, too, about staging and learning roles and an upcoming recital. See above about when to expect those.

We interrupt...

An off-topic post, just to say:

I love The Shins.

Love.

This week

Sorry to be quiet all week, it’s been kind of crazy around here. To make it up to you, here are some bullet points!

• I have summer employment! More on that exciting opportunity and it’s unorthodox development later… once I sign something.

• Opening Night was wonderful. I sat in the artists’ cafeteria trying to get more translations written into my Elixir score. I think I maybe got ten pages done! That’s something, right? KW and I “held court” at a table and chit-chatted our way through the evening, entertaining other singers and friends as they came through the café throughout the evening. We learned all too late of the opening night reception, for which neither of us was attired, so after our characters’ last words were sung in Act III, we headed home. But rest assured that opening night of Helena will have us both dressed to the nines and ready to drink champagne on the Grand Tier!

• There are three radio broadcasts of Jenufa, so I’ll be in house for those performances (likely in the café with KW again). Tonight I’m attending the performance, actually sitting in the auditorium (with a date, who is nervous about being left all alone, should I suddenly be called to the stage!).

• I’ll also be in the house for the performance on the 10th, since Judith Forst will be singing Kostenlicka that night. You may recall that she was my mother in Cendrillon last summer, and let me assure you: she is every bit as gripping and terrifying as Kostenlicka as she was hysterical as the Stepmother! Watching her in our cover staging rehearsal was a lesson in commitment and dramatic focus. KW and I will be sitting in the company box for that performance, gripping each other’s arms until the blood flow to our hands is cut off.

• I had my first coaching for Helena on Wednesday, and it was fine. Not great, but fine. I’m singing the middle line of three or four voices, and that’s really hard! KW admits that her line – the top – is “easy” since it’s always the melody. It’s Strauss, so it’s not easy by any means, but I’ll agree that it’s easier than mine! Once we start rehearsing with all of the voices, I think I’ll feel much more comfortable; trying to hear how my part fits in with just the piano reduction is tough. Hopefully we’ll start those music prep rehearsals this week or next.

• That’s all for now! Time to get dressed, but what to wear when you want to look nice and it’s wintry-mixing outside? No easy answer…